Recovery

(album: Tape Deck Heart - 2013)

Blacking in and out in a strange flat in East London.
Somebody I don't really know just gave me something
To help settle me down and to stop me from always thinking about you.
And you know your life is heading in a questionable direction
When you're up for days with strangers and you can't remember anything
Except the way you sounded when you told me you didn't know what I should do.

It's a long road up to recovery from here, a long way back to the light.
A long road up to recovery from here, a long way to making it right.

And I've been waking in the morning just like every other day
And just like every boring blues song I get swallowed by the pain
And so I fumble for your figure in the darkness just to make it go away.
But you're not lying there any longer and I know that that's my fault
So I've been pounding on the floor and I've been crawling up the walls
And I've been dipping in my darkness for serotonin boosters,
Cider and some kind of smelling salts.

It's a long road up to recovery from here, a long way back to the light.
A long road up to recovery from here, a long way to making it right.

And on the first night we met you said "Well darling, let's make a deal.
If anybody ever asks us, let's just tell them that we met in jail."
And that's the story that I'm sticking to like a stony-faced accomplice
But tonight I need to hear some truth if I'm ever getting through this.
Yeah you once sent me a letter that said "If you're lost at sea,
Close your eyes and catch the tide my dear and only think of me."
Well darling now I'm sinking and I'm as lost as lost can be
And I was hoping you could drag me up from down here towards my recovery.

If you could just give me a sign, just a subtle little glimmer.
Some suggestion that you'd have me if I could only make me better.
Then I would stand a little stronger as I walk a little taller, all the time.
Because I know you are a cynic but I think I can convince you.
Yeah, cause broken people can get better if they really want to.
Or at least that's what I have to tell myself if I am hoping to survive!

It's a long road up to recovery from here, a long way back to the light.
A long road up to recovery from here, a long way to making it right.

So darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover,
Darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover,
Darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover,
Darling, sweet lover, one day this will all be over.