Smokes, Let's Go

(album: What's Past Is Prologue - 2019)

Had my first smoke in 4 years today
I wasn't thinking about my voice
Or the things that my poor mother would say if she found out that I made this choice
I was thinking about your face
And the look of disappointment
That you would surely cast my way if you caught wind of the sails I've hoisted
I float away, path curling like the smoke off my tongue
Still hurt emotions closed tight like my lungs
I know I said I'd never write about you again
But a promise ain't a promise if we both have never held up our end
No, a promise ain't a promise if we both have never held up our end

Twelve-packs and cigarettes
I guess they never help
Think I have some kind of penchant for things detrimental to my health
I wish that things were different, I just wish we were still friends
'Cause if there's one thing I know, this just all goes to show that a promise ain't a promise if we both have never held up our end

I never should've went to that bar
I wish I never noticed your car
I shouldn't have waited, I should've just left
Now I'm outside my house with a new cigarette to smoke again
Why couldn't I ignore your glowing skin and smile?
Why'd I let you grab my hand and lead me in?
I made a promise to myself to never let this win
But a promise ain't a promise if I can't hold together both ends
No, a promise ain't a promise if I can't hold together both ends
No, a promise ain't a promise if I can't hold together both ends

I smoked my first pack in 4 years today
I mean, I guess it didn't really help
I think I have some kind of penchant for things detrimental to my health
I guess I'm smoking again