Nightmare

(album: Terminal - 2020)

I've dealt with worse than you
I've felt what it's like to lose
I'm not scared of what's out there
I've seen the worst in my nightmares

Can't escape hell
23 years in this jail cell
No bail help, I've prayed, yelled
But remain stuck like a hangnail
Walking on eggshells
Fuck, every day I just take L's
My whole life's been a nightmare
Where every day feels like a lightyear
So, remember me
PTSD, the memories
Mentally there's no coming back
From hell I'm trapped
Like Alcatraz in a penitentiary
Take your pick, life's a game, oh life's a bitch
But it don't matter to the referee
When death is the only penalty
So rest in peace

I've dealt with worse than you
I've felt what it's like to lose
I'm not scared of what's out there
I've seen the worst in my nightmares

Look at all the times, all the nights that intensified
Every day that I spent inside, barely getting by
Used to lay in my bed and cry, a pathetic guy
Not chill so I pop pills, how many times till I'm getting high?
Suicide it's been on my mind, yeah I wanna die
But I don't wanna make my momma cry
So I try to hide it, I tell and lie, I scream and yell
That I don't need help, I said I'm fine
But dead inside, all my life I live petrified
Left paralyzed by anxiety and depressing times
All my life, all my life
I pray to god, pray to god
To go way up high, far away from that Satan fire
Darker days, even darker nights from flames I rise

Days are getting longer, the nights are getting cold
So I pray to god that the devil is never taking my soul
Yeah, the days are getting longer, nights are getting colder
I've seen the worst in my nightmares

Yeah, I've seen it all. All the lows
Mountain tops that are way up high
All the peaks that I'll never reach
The few mountains I could never climb
There was a time mortal men
Born again so we pray to god
And pray the lord, our soul to keep
There comes a day when we lay and rise

I can't rise from the bottom, why would I bother
When you so depressed that you can't even get outta bed
If I'm being honest I'd rather be dead than alive
Sometimes I scream at the sky yelling
"I don't want it", all my life
All my life I've defined them odds
When the doctors told me I was gonna die
I crawled outta bed then rose I rose to the sky
Why? I don't know why
I don't know why, someone give me a sign
All the times that I fell, all the pain that I felt
How the fuck I'm alive?
When every night was like hell but all I ever do is try
Fuck, am I losing my mind? Not even closing my eyes
Too many nightmares
Cause I've dealt with worse than you
I've felt what it's like to lose, but don't get it confused
Even when I'm on the ground, and I'm down for the count
I'll fight back up and I'll knock you out

Cause it's been one hell of a ride, god
I've been through fire, I went through the flames
Every night but I rose to the top, bye
It's from the flames, I will rise

I've dealt with worse than you
I've felt what it's like to lose
I'm not scared of what's out there
I've seen the worst in my nightmares

I've dealt with worse than you
I've felt what it's like to lose
I'm not scared of what's out there
I've seen the worst in my nightmares