Where The Hell Have You Been

(album: Irlish - 2001)

You know my inside pockets
Got my outside twin
So badly indisposed
I think I'll dust my bin
And all the while you're making eyes at me
You could be doing something useful
Like climbing up a tree
Who knows there may be something lurking
Like a koala bear
All the way from down under
But don't ask me where

And on the subject of Australia
Did you know some wives
Don't mind when their husbands
Get home at night
Know what I mean
Every time I get home late
My wife says where the hell have you been

Oh Helen do be careful lying in the sun
Don't mind what you take off
Long as you've something on
And all the while
You give the neighbors a thrill
You could be doing something useful
Like climbing up a hill
Okay so hills do not agree with you
Then try one that's flat
Surely there's no better way
That's better than that
And on the subject of alternatives
Did you know some guys
Don't mind when their girlfriends
Get home at night
Oh what a dream
If I'm just a minute late
My wife says where the hell have you been

And all the while you're making eyes I see
You could be doing something useful
Like climbing over me
Now then there's nothing to be frightened of
I won't let you fall
Dare I say it I just hope
That you'll be enthralled

And on the subject of enthrallment
Do you know some wives
Don't mind when their husbands
Come home at night
Know what I mean
Every time I get home late
Mine says where the hell have you been