Survivor's Guilt

(album: Flesh & Bones - 2019)

An eye for an eye
Leaves the good men blind
I'm the last one alive
But I'm burdened by the night

I wish I had something to say
To make it better
Another notch to the rope
Another burden to my crown
(Depraved, disengaged)
There's nothing here to stop me from an early grave
(Tie the noose, follow-through)
It's either join the ones I love or suffer as the Devil's muse
An acquaintance of the hangman came to see me today
Naïve to disarray
You should've seen the look in her eyes
When she saw I lost the light in mine
Clara my dear
I'm not a man filled with many regrets;
I'm not a man filled with many regrets
But I wish I had taken my life instead

Hated to the bone
Yet she sees through my breaking nerves

I opened my heart to a stranger
Connected through woe; tormented angel
She came to terms with who I am;
I won't let this become my final number

Their weight comes crashing down;
It's like I bear their conscience atop my crown
That sits so badly on my head
Fuck it, take me now!

I watch their roses bloom and wilt
I wish to join them; this is survivor's guilt
Fuck it!

Let me bleed like a weeping wound
Take me instead
I'd give them all their lives back for my death;
Everyone I've ever loved, the dead in the mud
Father forgive me for the damage I've done