Mike Balls Is Dead

(album: Mike Balls Boutique - 2023)

I'm Mike Balls you might know me
From soccer violence or being an MC
In the GLC getting respect
Since 1983 and I'm still getting wrecked
But shit's hit the fan I got a new plan
Coz I owe money to my dealer and the Tax man
So I put it on Facebook I took my last breath
I'm Mike Balls gonna fake my own death

Mike Balls just died this morning and he's dead he's fucking dead

Time to run there was nowhere to hide
His only course of action was Pseudocide
At the funeral everybody cried
Remembering how much he liked his bacon fried
People got high people got pissed
Thinking about how much Mike would be missed
But Mike was at home in his living room
Watching his own funeral live on zoom
People smoking weed as a mark of respect
And we had his favorite tunes playing on the decks
Yeah the wake was a pity even though a sad time
Then Mike text me to meet him for a fat line
They said he died after getting a rash
Then two days later he's out on the rash
Been given his last right by a priest
It's the third time Mike's been declared deceased

Mike Balls just died this morning and he's dead he's fucking dead

Now I freak people out when they see me
Coz they think that I'm a fucking zombie
I rip my clothes put makeup on my head
I look like an extra from the walking dead
Where's Mike people spreading rumours
He was last seen buying cheese and chips in Boomers
From coast to coast on a Facebook post
People keep being Mike Balls ghost
Went to Chepstow coz I'm in hiding
Am I coming back well I'm still deciding
Coz life's quite nice now I've passed away
And there's loads of bills I don't have to pay
And I've started a fund on the internet
To pay for the funeral and my debt
Look it up it's on just giving
I'm Mike Balls and this is how I'm living

Mike Balls just died this morning and he's dead he's fucking dead

What Mike Balls says is what Mike Balls does
And he's faking his own death just for the buzz
Here's the point don't be mistook
Coming back like Jesus in the holy book
Praise be back from the dead
When you see him rise up it'll fuck up your head
Blood shot eyes and a rattling chain
Like Lord Lucan but without a moustache
I'm Mike Balls going underground
Unlike Shannon Matthews I won't be found
Like an elaborate game of hide and seek
I'm Mike Balls check out my technique
Need to get away need a place to hid
Chillin with Dereck Acorah and his spirit guide
I started asking is it real or is it fake
When I went to my funeral and the wake
But people always say nice things when you're dead
And you should have seen the fucking spread

They had fucking sausage rolls
They had mini scotch eggs
They had a cheese and pineapple hedgehog

Mike Balls just died this morning and he's dead he's fucking dead

Strictly chillin now he's dead
Spending the afterlife out of his head
You read it in the Argus in the obituaries
Then I see him down Spytty eating burger with cheese
Like the resurrection chain direction
Only back from the dead to make a dole collection
Living his best life since he died
Hanging down Barry Island at the sea side
All he wanted was to rest in piece
But he started getting heat off the police
At all went wrong and he got all chopsy
When they came round his house to do the autopsy
And the insurance won't pay but it wan't a shock
Coz he's still posting on TikTok
And a dead body was a deal breaker
So I got a job as an undertaker

Mike Balls just died this morning and he's dead he's fucking dead