Undefeated

(album: The Phenomenon Of Craving - 2000)

I've been at odd's with a restless soul
I've felt the pain when I lost control
I said the words but could not explain
The hurt fades but the scars remain

Got myself into situations
Ignored the threats and ministrations
Guilt choked by my last breath
I scared myself to death

So take my tears take all my fucking pain
I hope you're entertained

I fell prey to my own theatrics
Been diagnosed by the psychiatrics
Mistakes that I have made
I've left myself betrayed

I've lied to those I love
I'd medicate but there's never enough
No tears for the lives I've wrecked
I've lost my self respect

And now I'm reaching back
And I'm trying to make things right
And through my past I've gained a deeper sight
I'm less than proud of what I've done
But I know I've got to change
Somehow I know it's only just begun
Begun to change it's all on me
There's no one else to take the blame
But I'm still caught up in this game