Ramona's Revenge

(album: In Search Of A Song - 1971)

Ramona lived just down the hill from us.
She kept the house her mother drove the bus (an old yellow school bus)
Ramona had a handicap the neighborhood knew well.
Ramona couldn't speak or couldn't spell
(And that left Ramona at a considerable disadvantage among the more fluent)

Although she couldn't write or couldn't talk,
Ramona really had a pretty walk (a four letter figure)
Because she couldn't write or speak nobody asked her out.
But "bad-eye" Thompson hung around the house
(He was what you'd call a familiar figure in the neighborhood)

Well I guess their handicaps were common ground.
'Cause "bad-eye" Thompson always hung around.
He could squint that eye and spit tobacco thirty feet.
Ramona always grinned and stomped her features (because, to Ramona this was one of the finer things in life)

One day Ramona found herself with child.
She couldn't speak. Her mom was going wild.
Confusion reigned for half a day as one could understand.
The county judge came down to lend a hand
(And I think it should be noted in the interest of justice that the judge was acting in a strictly unofficial capacity)

The neighbors gathered 'round Ramona's porch.
The judge said, "Understand, this is not a court".
Ramona squealed as all the breathless neighbors gathered 'round...
Then closed one eye and (puh-tui) spat upon the ground.
(And it's a familiar old phrase that "birds of a feather will flock together" and justice will be done)