To Fall Asleep

(album: Holding Absence - 2019)

Bittersweet remedy Heal me
I've tried to be everything you need of me

I'm not holding my breath, I know that ruin merely rests
I can feel it pressed against my chest
Like a virus, I've tried to find us, a way out of this hole
With my hands pressed against my nose
I'm trying to be holy, but I still don't feel whole
I'm trying to be holy, but I still don't feel whole

Can't you see that it's haunting me, every night when I try to sleep?
I'm so weak
Burdened by the epiphany that misery's periphery won't let me be

The grass is always greener when you live in black and white
I try to close my eyes, imagine everything's alright
But honey like an arrow, sewn into a quiver
It's in my marrow, it's in my liver
You watch me wilt away like a flower without rain
There's nothing you can do, honey, please just look away

I am nailed to this cross and I must carry it alone
I would ask you to hold my hands, but they're worn to the bone

Can't you see that it's haunting me, every night when I try to sleep?
I'm so weak
Burdened by the epiphany that misery's periphery won't let me be

Bittersweet remedy Leave me

Its shadow follows me
I try to fall asleep

(Fall asleep
I try to fall asleep)