So Fond Of

(album: Call Me Human - 2012)

It's a dream, you and her in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
What if there was truth to the statement that first came love, then came marriage?
But it's not that way. That's not the song we sing;
Sex without a condom is the new engagement ring.
And the pain of rings, so demeaning.
I would change so much just to feel something.

And I said I was holding your heart, but it was just for show.
We said, “'Til death do us part”, but darling, I died such a long time ago.
And since then, we've been fed, but only bread that's been turned back into stone.
I used to starve 'cause I was hungry, now I starve 'cause I'm alone.

I had one god in my heart, but so many demons in my head.
I took life in little parts; life and death and life and death and life and death again.
Then that image of waking up next to you in bed, my blood red, pumping it up to feel a beat again.
But then that flat line. I'm fine, I swear.
Broken down, shut out, and nothing there.
Where, oh where, did we let this love fade again?

Walk down that sermon so I don't feel so condemned.
Death was my lover, and conviction just a friend.
And then a dead end, I wish I could pretend
So then she would at least trust me again.
She said, “Call, I'll still be awake at that hour”.
Congratulations darling, I haven't fallen asleep in weeks.
Withering away like trees, grass and flowers.
God forgive me, you said blessed are the meek.
I'm submitting myself to something great, but then when I wake,
I find out it doesn't even relate to that pulsating headache.
No caffeine can calm the anxiety of knowing it's all fake.

God, I am awake, please wash out these stains.
God, I am awake, please wash out these stains.
God, I am awake, please wash out these stains.
God, I am awake, I wanna be clean again. I'm ready to be clean again.