Fears We Create

(album: Equivalency - 2017)

I know we haven't talked in a while
I know I ignored your calls
But I miss you tonight

The Bible used to know my name
With heaven's weeping holy tears
Love that tastes like sweet champagne
I'm chasing after hollow fears

I've been staring at walls and I've been praying to the ceiling fan
That moves the air in the room in a way that no human can
I've been ignoring my calls and I've been hoping for another man to sweep her off her feet
So she's happy without my hands
Cause I'm so ready to be loved but I can only pour out once I'm full
I'm ready to turn back to dust but I cannot ignore the fact that I always play the fool
I'm sure I'm fine, I just don't wanna check or let this set
A while longer, feels stronger than forget that my silence is as deep as my lack of sleep
My sense of peace and my lasting defeat
Darling I know this hurts but promise me someday you'll be happy
So this pain means something

The Bible used to know my name
With heaven's weeping holy tears
Love that tastes like sweet champagne
I'm chasing after hollow fears
The Bible used to know my name
With heaven's weeping holy tears
Love is loss and love's a gain
Hoping I feel at home, my dear

The night before our first interaction was an embrace of exploration of nothing or everything
Depending on how you choose to perceive dreaming
I spent an eternity in four seconds focusing on the thought
That maybe love was just hormones, chemical abnormalities, or social cravings
But then I met myself for the first time when I made a lifelong promise that I knew I could keep
Because prior to my suicide I thought lifelong promises were always selfish
Or at least seeded in some sort of embellished lie we choose to believe
But I've been told enough times that I'm going insane
Just still want to breathe

The Bible used to know my name
With heaven's weeping holy tears
Love that tastes like sweet champagne
I'm chasing after hollow fears
The Bible used to know my name
With heaven's weeping holy tears
Love is loss and love's a gain
Hoping I feel at home, my dear

I miss you so much
And I need you in my life
So please, please stay
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
After everything that's happened