Cry In Church

(album: USEE4YOURSELF - 2021)

Rather free my soul
Rather be alone
Rather be a daydreamer
Rather be a real one
In the backseat Maybach with the driver
Moving like a trap nigga
Gotta stay low low
I'd rather live lawless with a lil bitch that I buy all of the shit
Even though it's on discount
Rather be a poor man with a lil affection
Everybody wanna feel special

I rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone
I'd rather be hand in hand, I just can't do it on my own
I'd rather be good inside than living happy on the outside
I rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone
'Cause how I'm gonna pay my bail if no one's picking up the phone?
I'd rather be good inside than living happy on the outside

I could be difficult sometimes
But that come from the ego in this mind of mine
My self esteem can make a nigga emo
The hate could come from love and baby we know
I'm my only lover
I'm my only friend
Working on my flaws
I think I'm clocking in
I'm my only weakness
I hope I'm off on the weekends

I rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone
I'd rather be hand in hand, I just can't do it on my own
I'd rather be good inside than living happy on the outside
I rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone
'Cause how I'm gonna pay my bail if no one's picking up the phone?
I'd rather be good inside than living happy on the outside

Sometimes
This ego in this mind of mine
Ego
We know

Don't ask if I need a tissue
I don't need no fuckin tissue
These ain't tears, it's just something in my eye
So please don't press the issue
Please don't press no buttons
One of these things for self destruction
Forgot which one, I ain't read the instructions
That right there is the key to my suffering
Mama ain't home, five years old
Blue Clues raised me, Cheerios saved me
Porno, step father here is what changed me
He ain't do a good job, he was too lazy
While y'all was in daycare
I was in Jay care
No lace front, this truth, no fake hair

I wish you ain't have me at nineteen, I'd prolly grow up better
I wish you would talk to me nicely, I prolly would love better
I wish you would read to me every night, I prolly would read more
Man all of this pain on my back gon' be having me looking like Igor
I put all the hurt in this art of mine
Yeah it's one more thing on my mind
Just maybe a couple of lullabies
Was all that I needed to fight all the demons
My spirit is bleeding, let's pray

Father God I am just learning how to pray, so bear with me
First I thank you for the life of everyone that's here with me
Then I thank you for the love you give me, why?
I don't know, I don't deserve it, and it hurts inside
Many a nights I cried, and called your name out loud
But didn't call you when I was doing good, I was too proud
And still you gave me love, I wasn't used to that
Most of the people that gave me love, they ended up taking it back
That's something new to me, so I'm asking you for time to adjust
Let me make it there, I will be one you can trust
What I stand for, I put my life on, I do
I guess what I'm asking is, show me how to stand for you
Hush little baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna sing you a lullaby
And if that lullaby don't work
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird