The Amazing Maze

(album: The Pendulum - 2002)

Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun
But those rides just aren't for everyone
Bought my ticket I'm gonna have a run
In the maze (WHO!)
If I don't come back or right away
Give me time at least a half a day
Don't just leave me lost and blown away
In the maze (WHO!)

Hello ladies and gentlemen I'm Jeff Nipple
And I'm Jimbo Jizm
Welcome to the Dark Carnival's amazing maze
Over 5000 ways to get in, and no way out
Let's meet today's volunteer
This is Rick
We like to call him Rick the Dick
Dickface here is a wealthy entrepreneur
Who smacks his wife around
And buys his way in and out of everything
Let's see how Mr. Toughguy fairs up in the amazing maze

[Violent J]
What up bitch? I'm Violent J
I'll be your guide for today, k?
Good, got mad doors and mad floors
Hallways, crawlways, walls for nedens
Make a left just before you make a right
And your left should be to your right
If your lefts right, right?
Good, begin the show
Go on ahead boy and open up the first door

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Welcome to a theatrical thriller
Meet Jack Doobie a serial killer
With a chainsaw, he takes your arm at the elbow
You get it back if you make it out though
Fuck ain't no use crying all day
You need to take your bitch ass back down the hallway
You gotta be a man at least you learned
Everything you get in the maze you've earned

[Violent J]
Keep running times a tickin on the clock
You might wanna tie that stump up with a sock
Turn right it might look the same
But you making tracks through the room of thumbtacks
This really ain't shit
About a million tacks and the room spins a bit
If you stay on your feet you'll be okay
Oh let me get out of your way

Oh boy Rick the Dick is in a bit of a jam there Jeff
That's right Jimbo
He looks like a ragdoll flippin and spinning like that
You can always witness spectacles truly amazing
Within the amazing maze
Let's see where else Rick's adventures
Will lead the little dickwipe

[Violent J]
Hahaha, so you got a few tacks in your balls
Pick 'em all out and head right back down the halls
What's this? Dead end, doors locked
It's a long way back, just knock

Oh should've turned around no doubt
Ain't nothing that we got to sit and argue about
Keep going make a left, right left
Now run straight ahead some more
Open up the door

Slide in the sheets, nice breeze
Relax ninja take it with ease
The maze is a place of magic
Many surprises, your dick rises
Lay down expect the best
In comes your lover with a hairy chest
Hello sexy I'm grim love
Let me have a look at your uhh milk dud

[Violent J]
Aww shit you fell for that
I ain't gonna tell you got your hole ring tapped
All that dissin of the opposite sex
And look who just got they butthole flexed
Wait! What's that?
The walls are closing in, fuck that
Hurry run for your life
Oh he'll be alright

How's that sit with you Jimbo?
First he gets plugged with bullets
Then he gets his butt plugged
I think he's a fucking idiot, Jeff
I mean what kind of asshole
Can't find his way out of this maze?
You gotta be a real dickbuffer
To wind up here in the first place
Right you are Jimbo
Let's watch the big dick fuck up some more

[Violent J]
Alright ain't no need to fear
If there's a way out it's gotta be near
Hey yo look a phone
You still got one good arm so it's on
Can you hear? Ah tongue in your ear
Drop it the phones got a life of it's own
Kiss me man hey come on
Slip down the slide go faster
Bed of nails, disaster
Quit screaming yo, hurry the fuck up and open the door

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Woods, trees you're outside
Lots of places for creeps to hide
Watch your step, AH, backdraft
Caught your foot and the ankles left
Creepin off with your stump
Feel something in the rump
Hunters, yeah they gonna get you
How does it feel bitch get the picture

[Violent J]
Back indoors hey at last
Look at your family behind the glass
They look weird, they're saying something
Listen up, "you've fucked up, you've fucked up"
Oh they're laughing and they're pointing at you
At least you know what they're sayins true
It's one last door you made it home, or
Or what? Once again it's on

Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun
But those rides just aren't for everyone
Bought my ticket I'm gonna have a run
In the maze (WHO!)
If I don't come back or right away (Hey)

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Hey man cut that shit
What the fuck man, happy friendly shit man
Fuck that
It's supposed to be wicked in this bitch man
Turn that shit off