Elly May

(album: Woh The Weeping Weirdo - 2023)

Aw yeah
This is the story of Elly May
Mike E Clark on the funk, bitch
Woo
Recognize
It ain't Toby Keith, motherfucker
Like that, like that
Oh
There she go now
Hey, Elly May
Oh yeah
Well

Elly May is the southernest that I ever saw
She has four youngins and her baby daddy is her pa
She teach third grade but dropped out in the first
And laughs like a donkey every time she curse
Elly May sells neden, she's pimped by 'em all
Business always sucks, but it's slowed to a crawl
She used to have a beard that would tickle my balls
But then shaved and revealed the worst mug I ever saw
Elly named her belly Big Sweetie Priscilla
When Elly hungry no smörgåsbord will fill her
She walks on her knuckles like a damn gorilla
An elephant gun to the face wouldn't kill her
Elly May like to say she the pigtail queen
You're probably thinking hair, but that ain't what I mean
Elly May like to grub and roll in the mud
And has a real pigtail right above her milk dud

Elly May is a looker, and I sure do look
So hot when I hit she make my hot dog cook
So what's a fella gotta do to make her love me sweet
Elly squeal and squeak when you suckle her feet
Elly May has a way of making me feel fine
Skeets my skeet about a thousand times
I tried every way but can't make her say "I do"
Unless I ask if she want another helping of food

Bring it back, Mike!

Elly May got a crooked eye, in fact she got two
They're both lazy, we call her googly goo
But she can see the future and way in the past
They're so crooked, when she cry, the tears fall out her ass
Elly May gots a neden, bigger than a porpoise
If you go down on her, better bring snorkels
She make the house shake when she walk the halls
Floor boards crack and out the roof dust falls
Elly May's four teeth merged into just one
She screams like a banshee when she bites her tongue
You might even think Siren Head's on the loose
But it's just crazy Elly with her monster tooth
Next to Elly May's ass, people look like ants
Two balloons smuggled in some yoga pants
Plus her neden's hairy like a fucking Sasquatch
I fingered her once, and I lost my watch

Elly May is a looker, and I sure do look
So hot when I hit she make my hot dog cook
So what's a fella gotta do to make her love me sweet
Elly squeal and squeak when you suckle her feet
Elly May has a way of making me feel fine
Skeets my skeet about a thousand times
I tried every way but can't make her say "I do"
Unless I ask if she want another helping of food

Yeah, I like that, I like that a lot
What?
No, we ain't done now
Come on back with that, Mike
Shit

Elly May is a looker, and I sure do look
So hot when I hit she make my hot dog cook
So what's a fella gotta do to make her love me sweet
Elly squeal and squeak when you suckle her feet
Elly May has a way of making me feel fine
Skeets my skeet about a thousand times
I tried every way but can't make her say "I do"
Unless I ask if she want another helping of food

Sure do look
Hot dog cook
Love me sweet
Suckle her feet
Me feel fine
Thousand times
Say "I do"
Helping of food
Yeah
Mike, you a fool for this slappy bar shit
Oh
You should probably turn that up, right?
What the fuck?