I'm A Slave

(album: Ready - 1983)

Now folks I got this smoking habit see
And I know The Habit's bad
But the worse thing about smoking
Is it makes them nonsmokers so mad
They say if you gonna puff them things
Go sit in the smoking section please
They put us in a ward like a bunch of cows
With the hoof in mouth disease

And all I hear is cigarets
Their bad for you dude
Well that may be friends
But I like them
Every way but Bar-B-Q'ed

And when I'm ready to quit smoking
Don't worry it'll be a breeze
But right now friend
Better stick me in
The smoking section please

I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a poor helpless victim
To the thing my body craves
His body craves

Now I know my smoking habit's rotten
And I hate myself for ever starting
But right now friend I could eat a carton
Cause I'm a slave

Ooo-ooooo

Now folks back home there was this dude
That would gamble at the drop of your hat
You know the kind
He has to raise all the time
And cover every bet

Well one night he was having a run of luck
And all his luck was bat
Done lost his money lost his car
He done lost everything he had

And I'm trying to drag him
Out of that poker game
And he's a hanging on to my arm
Jerry loan me ten
Help me get back in
I'll win a ribbon farm

Well I loaned him ten then twenty
Friends they was picking me to the bone
And when I stopped the game
All that remain
Was my cab-fair home

I said hey if I was stuck with your luck
Believe I'd leave that poker alone
He said Jerry it ain't nothing but dough
And money ain't got no home
Loan me ten

I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a poor helpless victim
To the thing my body craves
His body craves

But there is some good
To come out of this friends
There's always one bet you can win
You bet this cowboy
Will bet um again
Cause I'm a slave

Ooo-ooooo

Well now I ain't seen my next-door neighbor
In a week or so I guess
Till yesterday and he was all bandaged up
And in this body cast

I said well from the looks of you son
Uh the wreck must have been bad
He said no this is what happens Jerry
When your ol lady gets mad

He said it was last Saturday night and I was in this bar
Had a blonde on my knee
When I look up and there's my ol lady
Looking right down on me

Well she grabbed that blonde
And they was a having a championship bout
I stood up and said now honey wait a minuet
And I never should open my mouth

Cause she come right across my head with a bottle
Yelling save that country jive
And what she done to me
Was world war three
And I'm lucky to be alive

And I said let that be a lesson son
Maybe this flame will be your last
He said hey me and you
Know what I'm gonna do
Soon as I get out of this cast

I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a slave
He's a slave
Don't put the pressure on me
It effects how I behave
How he behaves

I love them short fat skinny ones
I like them brunets I love the blonds
I can't help it
Its a lot of fun

I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a poor helpless victim
To the thing my body craves
His body craves

Well I was laying in the floor
Half killed asking myself
Was it worth the thrill?
Will you do it again
You know I will
Cause I'm a slave

Uh hello sugar babe
Uh you ain't got a cigaret on you have you, (hehe)
Yeah well I guess borrowing ten is out of the question ain't it, (hehe)