His Pleasure Is My Pain

(album: Picking Up The Pieces - 2015)

A man stands in the doorway like a small child
Angry fists
She lies in her bed her head buried in her pillow
She stares at the moon
He speaks to her all the words she's heard too many times before
And pretty soon she just lets his voice fade away
She thinks
This was a gradual steel frost that started with cold feet
And ended with numb hearts
It was once satisfying sex, but now no longer is
It was once filled with all the possibilities of new china or old stone
But now it's exaggerated and water-logged
No longer what these hands had intended and still I cry in my sleep

He always said I was too sensitive
But I say, least I never meant to make him cry
Least I never meant to make him hurt that way
No, I never meant to make him cry
I never meant to make him hurt that way
Yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
He takes pleasure in my pain
Yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
He takes pleasure in my pain

And the unheard hours they fly by, she goes to the window
Puts on a nightgown and brushes her hair
He's already asleep by the time she goes to lay back down
She thinks, my God, what am I doing here

My bones have grown tired of his hunger, of his grey eyes
And I feel that if I were to stay one more night here I'd die
Or explode, or worse yet, just fade away
And there've been days so dark when I felt like August
And that I soon too would turn to fall
He always said I was too sensitive
If I dared to care so much, the world could kill me that way
I wonder if he's only half alive or if he simply has always lacked such subtlety

But I say, at least I never meant to make him cry
At least I never meant to make him hurt this way
No, I never meant to make him cry
I never meant to make him hurt this way

Yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
He takes pleasure in my pain
Yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
He takes pleasure in my pain

She gets out of bed and looks at her feet
As though they were the wings for her freedom
She gets up and goes to the drawer
It's a moment in which anything can happen
As she gets out some clothing, puts them in a bag
And leaves him sleeping while she heads for the door

Gone
Gone