Halloween Night

It's Halloween night and no one's gonna find you
Halloween night, we're creeping right behind you
You can try to run, you can try to hide
But Halloween night, it's pointless cause we're everywhere
We're everywhere, we're everywhere

Yo, look look look
It's Halloween night, and I'm looking like a zombie
Arms out, mummy wrap-stretch dragging behind me
Some little kid stepped on it, it clothed-lined me
Spun me around, I fell down on my hiney
Boom! Pelvic bones shattered into pieces
Back to my feet, skin cracking in the leaflets
Stinking like a non-refrigerated meat locker when the heat hits
Mixed with nursing home sheet shits
Feet just crackling, shin bones fragmented
Eye balls hanging out, optic nerves dragging them
All I wanna do is find some little punk bastard and
Grab him by his rib cage and squeeze it 'til I crack it in
My curse happened when I got a little naughty
Hit the ancient Egyptian wizard's mistress and he caught me
Now I'm trying to rest in peace but he just won't let me
Instead I'm roaming the streets harvesting souls every Halloween

It's Halloween night and no one's gonna find you
Halloween night, we're creeping right behind you
You can try to run, you can try to hide
But Halloween night, it's pointless cause we're everywhere
We're everywhere, we're everywhere

Look, look look
Now every single Halloween I know what the task at hand is
But every year it's getting harder and harder to manage
See back in the day I could just run up and be like ah
They'd shit their pants and run screaming and then I'd grab 'em
But now those old tactics don't seem to be as functional
And I'm on a schedule, be damned if I ain't punctual
I gotta try something new, here this skunk should do
I spray 'em and track 'em down with the scent of its funky spew
Get over here (hiss, screams) ah, it bit me
Ass blasted my face and ran into a bush quickly
Wait, that wasn't a skunk (shit!)
It was a damn raccoon dressed like a skunk for a Halloween function
Now I'm getting flustered, time to make a plan B
I got it! I'll hang myself up from a damn tree
They'll think I'm a decoration and when they come exam me
I'll cut myself down and spring it on 'em like Bambi

It's Halloween night and no one's gonna find you

Wait, hold up, hold up. Did you just say, "spring it on 'em like Bambi?"
(Yeah yeah, I...because like remember in Bambi…)
Bro?
(Not the verb to spring, but like the actual season?)
No I get it, I get it
(I kind of did like a double entendre there)
Do you realize how elaborate of an inference that is, to process?
(No, remember when all the animals were twitterpated, it was spring, get it?)
Oh my god. Dude, why you making a Bambi reference in a Halloween track anyway?
(I don't know man, I personally thought it went kinda hard)
No situation exists in which that line can be considered hard
(Ah, I thought it was dope)
I hate you

It's Halloween night and no one's gonna find you
Halloween night, we're creeping right behind you
You can try to run, you can try to hide
But Halloween night, it's pointless cause we're everywhere
We're everywhere, we're everywhere

Look, look
Its Halloween night, and I'm chasing after children
Ran up on a sixth grader dressed up like a Pilgrim
Jumped out like (Gggrrr) he grabbed his brass hot bill clip
And punched me in the teeth while his homies sat there and filmed it, like (WorldStar…)
He uppercut me with his bag of candy
My head went flying through the air like a banshee
I'm watching my body trip over shit like a panzy
My head's rolling down the street cussing like Chef Ramsey
I finally got my head on straight, I'm on the hunt again
Here come a Girl Scout troop, I jumped out in front of 'em
One of 'em ducked and stuck out a leg when I went to lunge at 'em
I tripped, looked up they all were holding clubs and started pummeling
Finally got up and then some other little cocky kid
Kicked my crotch and squished my balls like a couple rotten figs
I slumped in pain, he double front-kicked my esophagus
Onto a car, and Randy Orton RKO'd me off of it
When I regained consciousness, all I saw was a wall of 'em
Some girl dressed up like a witch, hit me with a cauldron
I went flying backwards like fifty feet to my astonishment
That shit was real iron, how'd she have the strength toss the shit
I turned around and saw all of their eyes glowing
Heard a wolf howl and felt a sudden gust of wind blowing
Now I'm surrounded by 'em, they're closing in, I'm already scared
They're coming out the trees and the bushes, oh god, they're everywhere

It's Halloween night and no one's gonna find you
Halloween night, we're creeping right behind you
You can try to run, you can try to hide
But Halloween night, it's pointless cause we're everywhere
We're everywhere, we're everywhere

Aight dude, hold up, hold up
(What?)
Can we talk about this…Randy Orton, really?
(What it's funny, I said Randy Orton)
You, you don't even like wrestling
(Well it was a hilarious illustration)
Yea yea, but again, Halloween track
(Come on)
Horror stuff, scary things
(Come on)
First you're talking about Bambi
(So?)
And now you're talking about professional wrestling
(It was funny)
Which you don't even care about
(Hey that…that's not true, I like professional wrestling
I mean when I was a little kid I used to really be into N.W.A.)
Oh my god
(And, the, uh, the massive man, uh, uh, Randy Sausage or whatever)
Bro, this is how much you know about wrestling, that kid wasn't even dressed up like Randy Orton
(Really?)
No he wasn't. And that's another reason why you're stupid for using that line
(Well who was he dressed up like then?)
You know
(No I don't know)
Dude, just think about it
(Well Randy Orton was who I thought it was so if you're telling me it's not him then I don't know)
Bro, you really don't know?
(No, I don't, stop playing this game just tell me who it was)
Dude, you're unbelievable, alright, I'll tell you who it was
(Thank you)
The wrestler from earlier in the song wasn't actually Randy Orton
It was
JOHN CENA!