Just

(album: FEMINEM - 2017)

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear future self, where do I start?
They wouldn't be so hard on me if they knew my heart
If they knew the trials and tribulations that I was facin
Just to get up on that mic
Their dissaprovin faces
But truthfully I understand at first glance
I wouldn't give me a chance either that's just human nature
But the hate they spew at me is equal to or greater
That of someone wantin me to say see ya later
Off myself, stop my breathing, words with hateful meanin
Make me drop down to my knees and just pray to Jesus
To keep my mind from these dark thoughts that's creepin in
I thought I was strong enough but I'm weakenin
It's crazy this world is really ran by guys
They don't look for females' talents
They listen with their eyes
But I gotta keep goin, I know that's a must
I just hope tomorrow's better
It's ya girl, just

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear future self
This shit is gettin harder
I'm not gettin the credit I deserve, I should be farther
And everyone's so scared to take a leap of faith
Even though they know I'm great
I'm surrounded by spineless and mindless fakes
They won't consign, they're waiting for someone else
I'm drownin I'm barely alive
Waitin for someone to help
They goin in on me online
Why do I fuckin rhyme
Bitch, you fuckin white
Go kill your self tonight
Plus your ugly, you got no ass, your looks are trash
I wouldn't fuck you with his dick wrapped in a garbage bag
Girls are even worse
A pussy's a gift and a curse
God forbid a bitch praisin another bitch
We don't even know our own worth
I feel a number on my days
The end is on it's way
I walk around in a haze, depression ain't no phase
My breath is gettin short, my spirit gettin heavy
I feel the weight of the words
I think I must be ready
My brain is consumed with the deepest, darkest, evil thoughts
I try to shake it out my head, my better judgement lost
And all along I put my all into every song
I don't get how doin somethin you love could ever be so wrong
I guess I'll sleep on it, I'm tired
I don't remember what I took, but I'm higher
My diary the only one I trust
I hope tomorrow's better
Your girl, just

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear future self
I'm a decade deep
I been grindin 10 years and they still don't mention me?
What are they stupid?
Do they not hear me on these tracks?
I knew I should of let what's his name put it in my ass
They went and got Kesha, Nicky, and Iggy
I know it's not a lot of girls, but why didn't they pick me?
I mean it's clear no one does what I do
I sing, I rap, and I write my own shit too
I don't give a fuck, fuck the whole industry
Fuck every label head
I hope they all die fuckin miserably
I hope your kids never ever meet their dreams
I hope your plane crashes, you and your whole team
Ain't that funny?
Look what you fools do to me
I hope they get that shit right at your and my eulogy
I hope we both rot in hell together, we deserve it
Me for wishin this wicked and you for destroyin my purpose
And for every lonely troll online
I hope you develop the most aggressive form of cancer of the spine
Decay your body, while your mind is still intact
And Ima send a postcard that reads "I got your back"
But you won this time
Every dog has it's day
Cuz now I'm standin on a chair and I'm just one push away
From finally bein at peace, blockin my sorrow
And now I don't have to worry about a better tomorrow

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Justina
I know you're fightin demons
But nothing in this world that's worth it, ever comes too easy
The human mind can play tricks, it gets dark and gory
It takes 10 years for an overnight success story
Just keep going, the journey's never perfect
I know the way they're treatin you is crazy
But I promise it's worth it
You're gonna fall a few more times
Don't mind the stumble
Take my word, there's a light here that ends the tunnel
It's more to it than the eye could ever see
You know that show with Nick Cannon
Yea, the one that's on MTV
Well that's right, Wild 'N Out, they about to hit you
You about to join on for Season 8, now that's official
Things are lookin up, people recognize your flow
You about to see, the world is gonna know you're cold
And everything's about to blow up from there
You're a household name
People they stop and they stare
And years later, look, you chillin got a family
At the crib, 3 Oscars and 5 Grammies
It's crazy, I mean life is but a dream
All of this is an outcome you could have never seen
Wait, hold up, everything's turnin to grey
The babies, the grammies, everything's slippin away
Fuck, forget what I said
This is what could have been, you're dead