Test Of Will

(album: Requiem For A Dream Deferred - 2019)

The stars aligned the day I was born, immaculate conception
January 12, '91, man what a fucking blessing
I'm grateful for this gift of life, my God, let me express it
Through a heartfelt message and authored expressions, I'm pressing
Reflect on life lessons, realizing I was the essence
Assess a certain presence, repent and pass the deceptions
As a convoluted youth feeling useless, my adolescence
Was filled with insecurities, self doubt and depression
Arrested development like Michael Cera as I delve in
Self sabotaged all my progression, it's sheltered, I'm dwelling
Trying to make a song cry, my heart swelling
When you give 'em the real but they want facades
I gave 'em my story, they couldn't sell it
Without [?] or co-signs, that shit is not compelling
Told me I needed a hook, my shit sounded like one long acapella
I felt like Jay, Big and Dame when they started Roc-A-Fella
I wanted to make a Reasonable Doubt, they wanted more Hawaiian Sophies
Felt like the wind was taking right out of my sails
If my records never sell, does that mean that I fail?
If I do a million shows and no one shows up there
Venue empty, thinking no one cared
Terrified, I'm scared

Can't live in denial, the truth I gotta face it
I'm just living on a day to day basis
Where I'm at in my career, shit I hate it
Every single thing I'm recording, it sound basic
Voices in my head yelling "Patience, patience
Nothing ever happened overnight, be patient"
Voices in my head yelling "Patience, patience
You gon' get everything you deserved, be patient"

Just keep your wits about you, never let those dim
I know you hear them negative thoughts, nigga, don't give in
Don't embrace the darkness, nigga, that is not your friend
In fact, that's probably where your life gon' end
Never break or bend
If there's no room for you to sit at their table, go make your own
Build a throne if you willing and able
It won't be easy but Rome wasn't built in a matter of minutes
It took practice, persistence and practical thinking, my nigga
A level head'll take you far if you got a tactical vision
Just act on it, nigga, go put your plan in action much quicker
And it's gon' take some sacrifice, might have to pass on that liquor
But hard work is worth the pain, that's what makes you strong
So press on, pray, this takes time so pace yourself
No one ever made a billion out here chasing the wealth
Failure builds a nigga character like nothing else
'Cause no one's perfect nigga, if that helps
Well I hope that it does, 'cause if you can get this shit outta the mud
You'll come to the realization nigga that it was actually love
'Cause nothing's given in this life, everybody got it tough
The ones that made it kept the faith and never once gave up

Can't live in denial, the truth I gotta face it
I'm just living on a day to day basis
Where I'm at in my career, shit I hate it
Every single thing I'm recording, it sound basic
Voices in my head yelling "Patience, patience"
Nothing ever happened overnight, be patient
Voices in my head yelling "Patience, patience"
You gon' get everything you deserved, be patient