I Found No Peace

(album: Never Home - 2016)

The devil is real and it's not a little red man holding a pitchfork
It's the feeling that you can't go anywhere 'cause you don't belong
It's when everyone stares but nobody cares, nobody cares
It's the ongoing feeling of
Paranoia and horrible self-consciousness
It's the humiliation that comes with growing up
And being told, "You're wrong, shut up, you're wrong"

I have had such a hard time trying to makes sense
Of my teenage years, and fears, and tears
I have had such a hard time trying to catch up to all my peers

I have had such a hard time
Trying to feel okay
At home sweet home sweet home sweet
Home sweet home sweet home

Kick your Chuck Taylors, make a fucking mess
Fuck your Sunday's best, this is Friday night's regret
I've got my backpack full of clothes and booze
I've got nothing to do, I've got nothing to lose

I've got no idea where I'm sleeping tonight
But it ain't with you, so I'll be just fine

You wanna know why I'm never home?
Because I always feel so alone
So what's the point of laying in a deathbed
If it's not even comfortable?
You always tell me you're disappointed
But I know I'm not a disappointment
I'm just young and full of mistakes

I found no peace
In brushing the dirt off for the millionth time
I found no peace
In neverminding your friend 'cause that's just how he is
I found no peace
In subscribing to the myth that that the way I dress and talk
Has to match the color of my skin and your fucked up preferences
I found no peace
In crossing the street so I don't seem like a suspect
I found no peace
In stares from men in suits
I found no peace
In your Friday night keg stands and your shitty electronic music
I found no peace
In being myself or being what you want me to be
I found no peace
In my weight, my skin, my color, my sex, my hair, my face, my self
I found no peace in myself
I found no peace