Thirsty

(album: The Book Of Traps And Lessons - 2019)

I came to under a red moon
Thirsty for water
My eyes were like shovels in the soil of the sky
Digging in to the night to find solace
Burying emptiness
I was heart-broken
Vomiting memories
Because I'd promised her everything
Then I did what I could not to recognise anything
So, here I was
Marching the town like a priest in my rapture
Muttering spells
So desperate for tenderness
So raw from the grating of senses
The way the day drinks every drop of my strength
It's relentless
I was digging out pence for a length of bad whisky
Me and my friends
Or at least
The others who slumped at the bar without peace
They embrace me as kindred, but
Something is missing
So, I was sat there at the bar with my forehead on my wrist
Thinking I had given all I had in me to give
When I saw her
Cross the floor like a firework exploding in slow motion
She touched me on the shoulder
And I started to live
But I wasn't ready yet
I wanted sucker punch and numbness
The chase and the conquest of dating by numbers
The safety of keeping my distance and feeding
My hungers
She spoke of a truth that I could not confront
And she offered a peace
That my war didn't want
Because I liked being fangs and destruction
Suction and froth and dysfunction
I was dreaming
Talking too much with my friends in the evenings
I laughed very loud as if I was extremely happy
You should've seen me
Now, I knew she sensed a glory
I could feel it in the way that I was standing
Two feet taller, like I'd never been afraid
I didn't want her to know I wasn't everything she saw in me
We walked each other home
And didn't kiss
We walked each other home
And