Rhodonite And Grief

(album: Panorama - 2019)

Lifetimes lived and died
For a moment in the turnaround
I was waiting with the car in drive
Watched you hurry on across the parking lot
The image of her life in your mind fades
And I could see an anxious strength in you
A bravery born in pain
Waiting by the front door on your cell phone
Summer at the convalescent home

"Kill me by surprise", you said
"I don't wanna stay alive
To watch the words go first like hers"
Lifetimes lived and died

Lifetimes lived and died
In the winter on the porch
Through the window of the door
I watch in the kitchen with your notebook open
Frozen in the cold when I'd come back with wine
At the end of every long night
Take a moment you need to just breathe
Whole days in treatment plans
Aphasic patients, apraxia of speech

Weeks and months go by like this
We function on routines
We sleep, we eat, we read
We eat, we drink, we sleep
We keep her picture on the fridge
I keep a rabbit toy for kids
You gave me strength to fix myself
I gave you tokens, toys and gifts
To help you grieve

You said "kill me by surprise again,
I don't wanna stay alive
To watch the words go first like hers"

Winter we huddle in anger, spring sadness sink in it
Summer accept all departures, in autumn start again
Winter we huddle in anger, spring sadness sink in it
Summer accept all departures, in autumn start again

I drove around for hours
For gifts to help you heal
The memories of parted ones
The seasons of our grief

Rhodonite for stress relief
Promethazine for sleep
A rabbit toy for children
My deep condolences

Rhodonite for stress
Promethazine for sleep
A rabbit toy for kids
My deep condolences

Lifetimes lived and died