I Hate Myself

(album: I'm Gay (I'm Happy) - 2011)

[Goo Goo Dolls Sample]
Don't want the world to see me
Don't think that they'd understand
Everything's meant to be broken
Want you to know who I am

[Hook]
I see myself in the mirror, but I don't see nothing
If you understand what I'm seeing please tell me something
When you black, the media make you wonder why
I need to learn...

[Verse 1]
My lifetime came from struggle
All I've seen is what I follow
My skin color, automatic transaction
I'm already classified, no second chance
Taught to feel nappy hands, little grade
Why can't I sag when it's just a style
Grown beard, black hoodie, and I'm all good
People judge before they even know me
Stare at me, don't know I'm lonely
Outside's front these stares from police
And I get the bad rap because another man that just looks like me
Think life's a movie like Spike Lee
Too cool like Ice T
Yeah, I move with Life's Peace, and he move with the gun piece
So there's no peace
I gotta go to the hood, all I see is
Divided, the freshest schizophrenics
Men pimping women, people losing vision
Given choices before she started living
I hate myself

[Goo Goo Dolls Sample]

[Hook]
I see myself in the mirror, but I don't see nothing
If you understand what I'm seeing please tell me something
When you black, the media make you wonder why
I just need my history, because I hate myself

[Verse 2]
It makes me sad to see pimping like I'm at a battle with my surroundings
Everybody do it, but not really
And I couldn't imagine my momma
Universal knowledge is karma
I see young girls hanging off the corner
And they searching for love in the wrong space
Gave her mind to a pimp, now he's changing faces
Sometimes I just wish I could trade places
I hate myself for being taught the roots of the hood
Which don't matter, no respect and no love
That got jailed for the real thugs
And I'm sorry to all the innocent in prison
You get a second chance when you free or in heaven
I promise if you really love and you watch your steps
Respect everybody, man you will get blessed
Get your point across without violence
The black dying by the gun, I'm tired of crying
I hate myself

[Goo Goo Dolls Sample]

[Hook]
For real man, this been in my heart for a long time
And if you understand, please tell me something
When you black, the media make you wonder why

[Verse 3]
I'm ready to give up my old thoughts
I'ma move past what I saw
I'ma do what I want and be happy
I'm not gon' rob or kill to survive
Everything I've seen was a lie
I'm not ready to die, I love myself
I said...
Everything that I've seen was a lie
I'm not ready to die, I love myself
Break that mental

[Outro]
You know we are free now man
Break that, uh, mental blockage
Don't think too hard, free your mind
That's real life man
I just... you know speak for real
Shit, that really feel real shit, man you know
We all human, we all got questions
You know, I'm designed this way and I got questions
It's all love over here, you feel me?
Like I said man, just living

Yeah, but then I hear me tho'
I said I'm ready to give up my old thoughts
I'ma move past what I saw
I'ma do what I want to be happy
I'm not gon' rob or kill to survive
Everything I've seen was a lie
I'm not ready to die, I love myself
But I don't see nothing
If you hear what I'm saying please tell me something
When you-, the media make you wonder why
I need to learn my history, because I hate myself