Alive

(album: Taking Up Space - 2020)

Come along if you feel me
Only feel alive when I'm doing things that kill me
When you dip say what's up to the real me
Chilling in the back, all black three blunts deep
Come along if you feel me
Only feel alive when I'm doing things that kill me
Drown the voices in my head
That never want me around

She said "I'm done with you, I swear
It's so hard to take you anywhere
You're always pissed and that's not fair
You won't be missed if no one cares"
You push and push and push away
I pull and pull but there you stay
I don't believe you just need space
I'll just fuck off and learn my place
You really hurt me and it really felt deliberate
Trust turned to dust, so fucking inconsiderate
I've had enough I know my feelings are legitimate
Broken like my joints so degenerate
Belligerent, yeah I went and started that
Living with a purpose, I just want a part of that
And I'm about six weeks from a heart attack
'Cause 24 years got me feeling like an artifact

Come along if you feel me
Only feel alive when I'm doing things that kill me
When you dip say what's up to the real me
Chilling in the back, all black three blunts deep
Come along if you feel me
Only feel alive when I'm doing things that kill me
Drown the voices in my head
That never want me around

I guess I had a big year
Just a little bit of talent with some big fears
All cheers out in Paris with my peers
Getting wasted on the street pros balling in the field
So why I still feel the dark passenger?
Digging through the scraps like a scavenger
Just to keep my brain scattered with greatest fear of all that nothing really matters
So I prepare for disaster
My head is intact but my heart has been shattered
Battered and bruised only used for this music
Knife in my back from my Juliette Judas
Puff till my day has been brightened
My feelings are numb and my heart rate is heightened
Keep myself high with attention divided
So when death approaches I will not be frightened

Come along if you feel me
Only feel alive when I'm doing things that kill me
And drown the voices in my head
That never want me around