I Love You, I Hate You

(album: Sometimes I Might Be Introvert - 2021)

I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you
I love you

So much, I would give my life for this (I hate you)
If the bullet was the beat I would probably die for this (I love you)
How many times did I cry for this? (I hate you)
I would hate myself if I didn't at least try for this (I love you)
What's at stake is bigger than me
Blood, tears, how it stains can't rid it with ease (I hate you)
What we have in common is our pain (I love you), we're given the keys
To unlock what it takes to fight for what we believe in (I hate you)
Hard to confront the truth of what you see in the mirror (I love you)
Some people you inspire and others you trigger (I hate you)
Fighting in blind faith, led by the internal voice (I hate you)
You might not wanna do it but you don't have a choice (I hate you)
Will the pressure take me to new heights or be my demise? (I hate you)
Will my intentions coincide with what I advise? (I hate you)
The people looking up to me, doing everything right (I hate you)
But who am I to tell anyone how to live their life? (I hate you)
Your pain threshold will determine if you survive
I'm amazed by it
Lying to myself, pretending I was never phased by it
Maybe 'cause you're in my DNA that's why

I love you, I hate you
I love you
Sometimes, I hate you
Always, I love you
But right now, I hate you
I love you, I hate you

You made a promise to God to be there for your kids (I love you)
You made a promise to give them a life you didn't live (I hate you)
My ego won't fully allow me to say that I miss you (I love you)
A woman who hasn't confronted all her daddy issues (I hate you)
The day would come when you gotta find all the answers to your sins (I love you, I hate you)
Pressures of providing, feeling unhappy within (I love you)
Or what kind of external family shit up on your plate (I hate you)
But I understand wanting and needing an escape (I love you)
Too much unsaid now the silence giving me headaches (I hate you)
Only through speech can we let go of all this dead weight (I love you)
Even though I'm angry, don't wanna be disrespectful (I hate you)
Tryna figure out how to approach this in the best way (I love you)
Hard to not carry these feelings even on my best days (I hate you)
Never thought my parent would give me my first heartbreak (I love you)
Anxiety giving me irregular heart rate (I hate you)
Used to avoid getting into how I really feel about this (I love you)
Now I see how fickle life can be and so it can't wait (I hate you)
Shoulda been the person there to hold me on my dark days (I love you)
It's easier to stargaze (I hate you)
And wish than be faced with this reality
Is you a sperm donor or a dad to me? And still (Make love tonight)

I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you
Always, I love you
But right now, I hate you
Always, I love you
I hate you

On this mission, you live and learn (I love you)
The world will show you no mercy from birth (I hate you)
How do you humanize your hero? (I love you)
Round here you're only respected if earned (I hate you)
Half-hearted sorry's can't let your guard down (I love you)
To get to nirvana where do you start out? (I hate you)
Angry 'cause they don't meet your unrealistic standards (I love you)
Then you realize that they're human and you calm down (I hate you)
Sometimes I'm unbalanced and I think, "Rah, why am I losing my steps?"
Lately, I'm paranoid, I feel my life is a mess
I'm just using my voice, hope it will have an effect
He was just once a boy, often I seem to forget
Looking at Polaroids of pictures secretly kept
You know what was destroyed but you don't know what was left
Tryna phase out the noise, of who you hear in your head
Everything is a choice and anything can be said
Is you missing the point, are you just hearing me vent?
Or is you in understanding, knowing my words will connect?
I keep you in my prayers 'cause life is short as we know
Every mistake you make should contribute to your growth
What you choose to avoid will probably come in your dreams
I'm not forgiving for you, man, I'm forgiving for me
And sometimes

I hate you
Sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you
Always, I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you