You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

(album: Honky Tonk Heroes - 1978)

You're the reason I'm a-riding around on recapped tires
And you're the reason I'm hanging our clothes outside on wires
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rything and money ain't ev'rything
But I love you just the same

You're the reason I've changed to beer from soda pop
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rything, and money ain't ev'rything
But I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone
And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rything, and money ain't ev'rything
But I love you just the same

Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave and put on a clean pair of pants?

But Loretta, look at yourself
Now I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair and go put on a little makeup
And get out of that housecoat before supper

Ha, well let me tell you something
Conway, considering everything that I went through today
I look like a movie star

Eh-he-yeah, Ruth Buzzi

Thankyee

Besides that, all our kids took after your part of the family, anyway

Oh they did, huh? What abouts the ones that's Bald?
[*laughs*]

[*laughs*]