Hurt Alone

(album: If You Don't Like The Story Write Your Own - 2022)

Yeah

Knew as soon as I got the call that there was something wrong
I had fell asleep with the TV on
I said, "Hey, you good?", there was a brief pause
Then you said to me, "He's fucking gone"
And my hands are shaking, my mind is racing
My heart is aching, don't know what to say
So I said the first thing that came to mind
Which was something like, "You're gonna be okay"
"You're gonna be okay?" What a foolish phrase
Like your whole life's not about to change
And your only options are to sit in pain
Or become so numb you can't feel a thing
And the days will change, but they'll feel the same
You wanna run away but you can't escape
Going nowhere fast down the interstate
Only say all that 'cause I know the pain
And to feel like you wanna disappear
I hope you know that I'm always here
The sad truth is I can't bring him back, but can lend an ear, so

You don't have to hurt alone, hurt alone
I can't fix you, but you won't be by yourself
And I know I'll never know, never know
What you've been through, all the messed-up things you felt
But I could stay down heavy in the pain, no
We don't have to talk if the words don't help
You don't have to hurt alone, hurt alone
I can't fix you, but you won't be by yourself (Yeah)

I used to think, "Damn, I wish I had a fam," until I realized that I had two
There's the one assigned to me out the womb and the one that I got to choose
So know that you're fam to me, and for family, there's not much that I wouldn't do
Been losing your sanity, understandably, and the only way out's to go through
But they say you grow through what you go through
The truth is that I owe you
You were my lifeline in my dark times
Now it's my turn to console you
Even though I know the truth is nothing will
Its trauma's gonna take some time to heal
I know the woe of losing someone close
Still, I'll never know the way you truly feel, damn
But if you need to vent or not be alone in your head
Just name the time and the place, I'll be on my way, I'm not one to just leave you on read
'Cause that's what you do for your friends and people you love
You don't let 'em drown when they wanna give up
And trust me, I know how hard it can be to find someone you can trust, but

You don't have to hurt alone, hurt alone
I can't fix you, but you won't be by yourself
And I know I'll never know, never know
What you've been through, all the messed-up things you felt
But I could stay down heavy in the pain, no
We don't have to talk if the words don't help
You don't have to hurt alone, hurt alone
I can't fix you, but you won't be by yourself

Don't know if you've ever thought of trying therapy
It's helped me find a little clarity
Been learning not to care about opinions from people who won't be there when they bury me
I was so desperate, I booked a session
Clicked the first place Google recommended
Someone answered and asked me a couple questions
Told 'em, "Man, I can't fix this depression"
I don't want attention, wanna run away
Said she couldn't see me 'til the 28th
That was twenty days, was thinking, "Okay
That's a lotta time when you're about to break"
I was about to break, I needed fucking help
I couldn't do it all by my-fuckin'-self
Like a stigma put on my mental health
Society taught me how to hate myself
But I'm still breathing
Still speaking, heart still beating
Countless nights battling with demons
And I'm still here, guess I'm undefeated
And I was thinking this could help
Maybe in my story you can find yourself
Hard to understand the hand that you were dealt
You don't owe shit to anyone except yourself
Yeah, accept yourself, know he's looking down
And just like me, know he's fucking proud
Your anxiety is gonna chop you down
Until you stop believing that you let him down
But never let it win, the battle starts within
It's where you go from here and not where you begin
It's a blessing to call you a friend and to know that you let me in, so

You don't have to hurt alone, hurt alone
I can't fix you, but you won't be by yourself