Looking Back

(album: Not Waving, But Drowning - 2019)

"Must be a fly in here somewhere, well not anymore, heh heh"

Face this
Like water never taste this
Evil
White rose to a racist
They used to hype cus my mothers face white and my fathers face blacker than the scene outside a spaceship
Flooded with rocks and jewels, crystals shine and shimmer he never let me use their words "due time my jigga"
Never called me nigga, said its the masters tongue
But being black and white the trouble never asked for none
But they all passed me some, fuck it I grabbed it both hands in the darkest sun
Scribbled till the parker's done
Grabbed another pen and scribbled where the parker's spun
Following in footstops of fathers that are asked to run
But not the one who wanted out and so they disappear
All caught up in the fam and feeling like they interfere
I'm thinking my great grandfather could have owned my other one
And yo, that shit is weird

I'm lost
Wondering my cost
Telling you it hurts
If you don't know your worth
So we run from the makers like sons in Jamaica
Heart break, breaker like the suns an equator
We wasted it, before we even tasted it

The cities on fire
Quite literally
The reason nobodies talking remains a mystery
My brothers lost telling him do it differently I wanna take the blame but we don't share the same history
I'm lost
Wonder my cost up in this space
Mixed race, colour on my face feeling misplaced
A waste
Ain't tryna tell you how my shit taste
Pack a couple days in this thin case
Make a move
Write everyday and night till I say the truth
Loose looking for some proof that I'm still in news
See I got it all to loose, nothing to prove
Promise the day I get paid, I'mma pay my dues
Uh, find the Karma told me I'm from Ghana but really its Guyana
Uh, I'm Coyle Larner to car [?] the birth place of my fathers father I don't know the answer

I'm lost
Wondering my cost
Telling you it hurts
If you don't know your worth
So we run from the makers like sons in Jamaica
Heart bait breaker, duh, whatever
We wasted it, before we even tasted it
Fuck

"Ay, yeah can I just get uh... You got chicken soup?
"Nah only goat soup for today"
"Uh can I get one goat soup... erm... and then some curried chicken with rice and peas"
"Only plain rice"
"Yeah can I just get plain rice then, and some erm steamed veg as well please"
"Only plain rice?"
"Yeah"