The Return

(album: Lace Up - 2010)

And they say they know me
Get the fuck outta here
Only God knows what I've been through, man
So if you wanna talk, get your facts straight first
And if you really wanna know, let me ask you something

Have you ever walked in the shoes of a giant?
Or had to fill the position of a boss before you were even a client?
It's no wonder growing up under the roof of a tyrant
That I would be the poster boy for defiance
Now I'm the voice of the silence
Fuck being quiet I've seen twenty years worth of violence
I'm tired, it's a burden for me to open my eyelids
Not an undercover cop but it's safe to say that I'm wired
I can't even get a grip on my life with pliers
I'm fucked up in the head
Close my eyes cause I see demons around my bed
So depressed, open them up hoping I'm dead
Thought the fame would make it better but it only fucked me over
Never used to touch a bottle, now I'm hardly ever sober
People want to be my friend
But where the fuck were y'all when I was ten
Eleven or twelve getting bullied and beat up in the gym?
I couldn't never get a girl, now all the sudden I'm the man
Students try to get back cool with me again, fuck 'em all
Because guess where they're gon' be when my record stops playing?
Gone with the wind, off in the record shop saying that "Kells fell off"
I knew it would happen, stop hating, cause a month ago you was all over my jock saying
That I'm "that mu'fucker"
But now I'm whack, mu'fucker?
Opinions change, but you cannot change facts mu'fucker
If you want bullet points then call me a gat mu'fucker
I'll lay my whole life out like a mat mu'fucker
Man, I've experienced some things that would stop you from eating
My schizophrenic cousin tried to end my life while I'm sleepin
My bummy uncle wanna call now that he sees me succeeding
My momma left me for a teacher, lost my dad to the preaching
Half my friends are buried six feet, all the rest in the precinct
Literally watched my Grandmother die from Diabetes
I guess my prayers were answered when my Aunt got Cancer and beat it
Now I want to get her out a job, give her the garden of Eden
I did a lot of bad shit, God got even
But for the price I had to pay, I wish I'd stopped breathing
My girl sat in the bathtub, eight hours bleeding
Hearing the doctor tell us our child's heart stopped beating
Fuck a million, I wouldn't take a dollar for a life
But I will do what's in my heart, and trade this dollar for a mic
I wrote this song in hopes that it could help someone get through the night
With no intentions of getting paid, I'm just doing what is right
I do it for the fans, no, the real fans
Who stuck with me through the storm cause they understand
That there's a genuine pain behind the words I'm saying
And they embrace me, so I thank y'all for staying
Ain't it crazy, that passion is my achilles heel?
Either that or keeping it way too real
But they don't know how it feels, to feed off the energy of a crowd
Step on stage and they get loud
Dad, I'm gonna make you proud
I know we don't speak right now but I think turning new leaves is what we need right now
I love you
And you may not see right now but I'm begging for forgiveness, I'm on my knees right now
You saw your son as a dropout
Stuck around when I ran
Saw your son as a felon
Now see your son as a man
See your son be a father, to a beautiful child
Or just see your son Dad, see me smile
Who would have thought what started at the bottom would someday grow?
From three people in the crowd, unpaid shows
Six people in the room, one meal a day
Another opening act where no one knows my name
Saw the demos that I passed out laying on the ground
Saw the rappers I befriended copying my style
Saw opportunities pass while these fakes got rich
Now I can't stop speeding like my breaks ain't shit
For six months I went through hell and back
Right at the height of my success all of the sudden doctors said I couldn't rap
I had a polyp on my vocal chords
Left with a choice, stop now or possibly lose my voice
But I woke up and recorded every morning till my throat swole shut
Coughed blood after every show because it hurt that much
I went weeks without even saying a word to myself
No health insurance so doctor bills piled on the shelf
But for my daughter and my fam, and every single fan
I pushed through it, now I'm back for y'all again
As for my competition, this is the beginning of the end
But right now this is my return, amen
Kells

And they say they know me
Get the fuck outta here