The Club

(album: The Unplanned Mixtape - 2009)

Thank God it's Friday
Got my paycheck and I'm going home
Leaving my job, on the highway, turn up my stereo
Because last weekend sucked
But this one's gonna be different
Because it's fucking Friday, I'm getting drunk and we gonna kick it
Then my friend's like, "Hey man, what's going on?" ("I don't know")
We all know though that we're gonna get drunk at the club
Get it crunk to the same shit we did the week before
Meet at the store
Free funking in my house
In high school it was drinking games
Bad house parties in Ike's house
But now we go on the town
We gotta hit the club
We gotta spend them bucks
And we gotta get it crunk
Seven for a drink and fifteen cash at the entrance
And thank heavens Wells Fargo's got overdraft protection
We walked up in
Yes, they're spinning R.Kelly's remix to the remix about a chick and skeeted on her belly
The females (woop, woop) they're done and there're plenty
I got two dollars... ah, charge it, bartender a round of Henny!

We're going to the club, club
Pour me another one, gotta get numb, numb
Hopefully end up with a girl I can fuck, fuck
Oops, baby you know that I meant love, love
Who's coming with me back to my tub, tub?
"Now, Macklemore, you know you ain't got no hot tub, man," tub, tub
Shut up man, she don't know us, us
Everybody toast your glasses, tonight's the best night ever
Now who's getting hammered?

I'm on the wall drunk as fuck
Like this sucks, I'm hella bored
Decided to cut the rug with a female, like stellar on the floor
Break her off her stiletto, sore
Thought she was Puerto Rican, started talking
I'm like, "Woops, it's a honky, she's just hella orange"
My homie's like, "Mack, what you tell her for? She was feeling you"
"Dawg, I could peel her foo, this is Washington not Florida"
The white girls are looking for some big black dick
The black girls are all, "Yeah he's cute for a white guy, but that's about it"
Asians kicking with Asians
And the Latinos are too beautiful
Wish I could confidently be like, "Girl you don't know what I could do to you"
Get her back to the pad and probably bust in my pants
She'd be like, "Ooh, ah, pappy," I'd be like... sorry
Think I'mma buy you a drink? Better find you a shrink
("I'm rich bitch, psych")
I sling CDs and grind tapes, bet your boyfriend can't spit
Get the clit to vibrate
I should have stayed home, I get more chicks on MySpace

We're going to the club, club
Pour me another one, gotta get numb, numb
Hopefully end up with a girl I can fuck, fuck
Oops, baby you know that I meant love, love
Who's coming with me back to my tub, tub?
"Now, Macklemore, you know you ain't got no hot tub, man," tub, tub
Shut up man, she don't know us, us
Everybody toast your glasses, tonight's the best night ever
Now who's getting hammered?

There's that sweaty girl (sweaty girl)
In the corner on e-bomb
Thinking she's in a Missy video but really looks like a retard
And there's the wall muggers (wall muggers)
That shout just to seem hard
And there's the ball suckers (ball suckers)
That fight and just seem odd
I spent seventy-five dollars and these drinks don't work
Who the hell's this ugly, taint skank?
Why are my friends in pink shirts?
My hat's too big
My air-force's were clean when I came here
Now they're stained in beer
And who peed on my white tee?
I thought this was the spot, I was supposed to get jocked
There's a dude talking on chickens and they're clucking for cocks
Funny thing is, we're all insecure
That's why we call the bartender and tell him to give us a beer
Until our judgement is blurred and little voices slush and they slur
We getting faded, waking up hungover and going to work
Do it every weekend, this is the life
You better peep it
And it ain't no secret the club sucks, but do we go?
Better believe it!

We're going to the club, club
Pour me another one, gotta get numb, numb
Hopefully end up with a girl I can fuck, fuck
Oops, baby you know that I meant love, love
Who's coming with me back to my tub, tub?
"Now, Macklemore, you know you ain't got no hot tub, man," tub, tub
Shut up man, she don't know us, us
Everybody toast your glasses, tonight's the best night ever
Now who's getting hammered?