If These Dogs Could Talk

(album: Ashley McBryde Presents: Lindeville - 2022)

There's a three-legged beagle who lays there spread eagle
On the driveway outside Patti's trailer
He looks like he's sleeping but he knows she's dealing
And that she's been boning the neighbor
There's a mean little poodle we call cranky doodle
Riding high in Lynnette's Vera Bradley
And he'll take to the grave that her husband is gay
Cause doodle likes chewing his panties

If these dogs could talk
They'd sure tell on you
We're all lucky barking is all they can do
They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
God knows what they'd say
Might ruin your day
If these dogs could talk

There's a brown one named Patience
She always waiting for scraps outside of the diner
Leroy is serving, one thing's for certain
A hamburger steak always finds her
He may be a meth head who smokes up his paycheck
But everyone needs a best friend
And she may be blind, but she sees him just fine
And don't care what they say about him

If these dogs could talk
They'd sure tell on you
We're all lucky barking is all they can do
They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
God knows what they'd say
Might ruin your day
If these dogs could talk

They could sniff out the cheaters and point out the liars
Shit on their lawns and piss on their tires
They can smell kindness so maybe be kinder
And don't even think about kicking one

They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
God knows what they'd say
Might ruin your day
If these dogs could talk

God knows what they'd say
Might make someone's day if these dogs could talk