Captain Kirk

(album: Ghetto D - 1997)

[Intro: Master P]
Are you ready to boldly go,
where no family has gone before?
The Ghetto Enterprise has landed.
Captain Kirk has arrived, I repeat,
Captain Kirk, has arrived.
Women, if you're lucky, Captain Kirk will save you,
and beam your loved ones to the fortune and fame you
are looking for. I mean the next generation, ya' heard me?
Are you ready? (Yes I Am!!!!)

[1st Verse: Master P Fiend]
[Master P:]
Somebody musta' told these hoes I was a muthafucking rapper,
but will they jus' tell them hoes that I was a muthafucking captain?
All the bitches I done broke fo' they bank,
I got so many cocktales I need a muthafucking fish tank.
I got hoes like acorns falling outta trees,
No Limit niggas don't say hoes,
ain't no caps that be floating in the breeze...
[Fiend:]
Now, Now, Now P, all the time, I done put in work
I ain't know, I was living next door to Captain Kirk.
Captain Smirk on his face, looking like drug swapping,
come to find out, some bitch holding his money down hostage.
Got keys to his cottage, done changed the law and the act,
and all he get to do, is eat that funky hoe from the back.
On top of that,
the bitch fat!!!
Making a career off this nigga,
and all his homies gone, because they can't get it clear to this nigga, go figga,
all she wanted was that man to change,
but if it was me, I done been done slapped that bitch in the brains.

[Chorus:]
Captain Kirk, can you save me?
Captain Kirk, I wanna have yo' baby.
Captain Kirk, can you save me?
Captain Kirk, I wanna have yo' baby.
Captain Kirk, can you save me?
Captain Kirk, I wanna have yo' baby.
Captain Kirk, can you save me?
Mr. Captain Kirk, I wanna have yo baby.

[Verse Two: Silkk The Shocker]
See I met this bad ass trick,
I mean this bad ass bitch.
Telling her friends about month go by see I'ma be like buying her shit.
I bought her lunch the first time,
but see there trick that's nuthing but game,
I hit it one time and they be calling back,
talking bout' "Silkk, why you do all that playin'?".
And she had the nerve to tell me,
if I ain't a fucking trick I'm worthless,
I told her Bitch if you ain't sucking dick,
then none of yo' clit defeats the purpose.
Figured she had game, trying to fuck a young balla nigga like my mind,
I figured looking at me she see nothing but dollar signs.
Simply, a bitch might give you some weed,
a bitch might give you a buck,
man, but since you my boy you
better use a condom, before you try to fuck.
Take the game from this show bug,
cuz Silkk ain't no love.
I give'em a little something, but at the end I
take'em back and get the most love.
And ain't no beam'em up Scotty,
ain't no saving hoes that ain't putting in no work.
It all depends on TRU niggas like us, no Captain Kirk (Bitch freeze),
all you ghetto hoes get yo' Lee Press-On Nails, fix yo' wig,
bring yo' Bebe kids cuz the Ghetto Enterprise is leaving in
approximately five minutes.

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Mystikal]
Aww HOLD UP!!!, WAIT A MINUTE!!!
my mama done got me bent.
What the fuck you mean, where I was?, who I was with?,
and where the fuck I went?
Bitch you be beside yoself, you probably WOULD,
if I left ya', but I ain't gon put you on no pedestal, jus cuz
you quick with that pleasure.
You smoking my weed riding my ride,
I'M TRYIN' TO KEEP IT REAL.
I can't seem to satisfy you,
bitch she tripping bout' the BILLS!!!
They really ain't paid, but you gotta hand it,
this bitch gotta be stopped!!!, Hope man done got it made
and ride my pockets to the top. But oh no, you
bitch, you ain't responsible, for what a nigga man
do give a fuck bout' what a nigga bout' to do,
give a fuck bout' what you and another nigga been through.
Get the fuck out my face, ya' fear too, stop running
behind my G dues, can't wait to see that nigga that got
trampled like that cuz that ass whooping been due.
It's thinking like that, that make it hard,
for me and the rest of my niggas.
Mean these tramps they it like weed,
SHE GETTIN' THE BEST'A YOU NIGGA!!!
Letting dem' hoes sit on they ass, and come up off yo' hard work,
This Mystikal, Master P, Fiend and Silkk,
NOT NO CAPTAIN KIRK!!!

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
-Girl
Captain Kirk, you know I have six kids,
even though they ain't from you,
baby my kids love you.
Kirk baby, you know we need a... brand new color TV,
I know you pay the rent.
Even though I ain't gave you none in the last year,
baby we need a brand new car boo,
six hundred, S-E-L, Mercedes four door V-12.
Oh I took that extra checkbook,
I need my... hair, nails, toes did,
I want a brand new house,
a five karat diamond ring for my birthday, and
don't forget to pick up some pampers and milk.
Also I chose pickles, and Ice Cream.
I think I'm pregnant, smile Kirk, your finally
gonna be a father, oh yeah, and don't forget to
pick up your cape out the cleaners.

[Master P]
Mr. Kirk's enterprise will be beaming up out of
the ghetto in five seconds,
four,
three,
two,
one.

[Sound of airplane or some other aircraft taking off and flying away]