Ash

(album: The April Fools Collection - 2018)

I'm a detriment to deadites they might end up even deader
I trap them then I blast them an assassin wearing leather
I dismember every member of this group that got together
Brood of demons schemin surface dwellers into cellars
Took my lover linda to a lodge in tennessee
A cabin that's abandoned that's a manageable fee
Pirouetting in her panties while I tickle ivories
I kiss her and I gift her got a glass for mysteries
Got me rumblin in my tummy soon I'm hunting for some bubbly
I'm feeling all the feels find a reel to reel that's really troubling
Su merian incantation cancels any chance of coupling
Hell unleashed found its feast at least I'm here for shoveling
Lovely linda lost her locks bc I lopped her lid off
Dug a grave goodbye to babe I'm sad to say we split up
I made a simple christian cross to keep the ancient evil off
I'm gonna need a people saw time to fuck this evil raaaaaaaw

Call the man ash williams u got a bad ass villian
Got a chainsaw hand make a man start spillin
Amputee with a shotty make u pee in the potty
Ash double causin trouble ash double causin trouble

Evil's in the rafters and there's laughter in the lobby
Started out a drafter now it's after all the hotties
Henrietta's got a thing for gourds it's just one of hobbies
Raymond likes to press record and of course he keeps a copy
The deed was done and I had won no running out of chances
Then evil ran me through the woods and hit my face with branches
It threw me in a puddle underwater making bubbles
A momentary deadite then I pass out memory muddled
Went back to the rancid cabin linda's back in action dancing
To the tool shed I'm advancing while she's biting on my hand some
Got her in the vice at last she acts like she used to act
With a chainsaw I'm attacked now with a chainsaw I'm attached
Saw my hand off and it ran off like it's in the addams fam
I found a 12 gauge double barrel bet it go blam
I tried to blow my hand up but my fingers too fast
Finally got it where I want it and shot it blood bath

Call the man ash williams u got a bad ass villian
Got a chainsaw hand make a man start spillin
Amputee with a shotty make u pee in the potty
Ash double causin trouble ash double causin trouble

A mechanic and his missus got some business with an annie
I know I am in mourning but I'm horny for her fanny
Her father was a knowby and she's holding sacred pages
Make you travel to the 80's or maybe the middle ages
They threw me in the basement like I'm christmas decorations
Knowby's wife came to life like stop motion animation
They saw the beast I was released it's plain to see I told the truth
Annies laddie got too grabby hacked that baddie #votingbooth
Bobby joe was shook and then she took off in the woods
Soon the evil trees would see that she's hot, she's got the goods
Roots and vines became intwined and dragged her across the map
That deadite tree spread her knees and filled her gap with sap
Just so jarring for jake killed with a kandarian dagger
Henrietta dragged him under and blood started to splatter
Blood is coming out of foes like its coming out a hose
Faygo sprayed for days like a juggalo proposed
We head out to the shed it's time these deadites felt my wrath
Engineering graduate I battle shit with math
Build a chainsaw hand you never saw that in a movie
Leather rig for my new sawed off oh my God I'm lookin groovy
As if this was my calling appauling to put it mildly
Maybe my vocation isnt in the suit and tie scene
Maybe I was made for decapitating a night fiend
Now I'm surrounded by knights can't be the right time stream

Noooooooo

Call the man ash williams u got a bad ass villian
Got a chainsaw hand make a man start spillin
Amputee with a shotty make u pee in the potty
Ash double causin trouble ash double causin trouble