One Beer

(album: Mm.. Food? - 2004)

I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
So tell me why shouldn't it be true?
I get a kick out of brew

There's only one beer left
Rappers screaming all in our ears like we're deaf
Tempt me, do a number on the label
Eat up all they MC's and drink 'em under the table like
"It's on me, put it on my tab kid"
However you get there, foot it, cab it, Iron Horse it
You're leaving on your face, forfeit
I crush the mic, hold it like the heat, he might toss it
Told him tell they stole it, he told her he lost it
She told him "Get off it," and a bunch other more shit
Getting money, DT's be getting no new leads
It's like he eating watermelon stay spitting seed after seed
It's the weed, give me some of what he's drooping off
Soon as he wake up, choking like it was whooping cough
They group been soft
First hour at the open bar and they're trooping off
He went to go laugh and get some head by the side road
She asked him to autograph her derriere, it read
"To Wide Load, this yard bird taste like fried toad turd, love, villain"
Take pride in code words
Crooked eye mold nerd geek, with a cold heart
Probably still be speaking in rhymes as an old fart
Study how to eat to die, by the pizza guy
No he's not too fly to skeet in a skeezers eye
And squeeze her thigh, maybe give her curves a feel
And the same way she feel it when she flow with nerves of steel
They call the super when they need their back, uhh, plumbing fixed
"How theres only one left? the pack comes in six
Whatever happened to two and three?"
A herb tried to slide with four and five and got caught like, "What you doing G?
Don't make me have to get cutting like truancy
Matter fact not for nothing right now you and me"

Looser than a pair of 'Didas
I hope you brought your spare tweeters
MC's sound like cheerleaders
Rapping and dancing like Red Head Kingpin
DOOM came do the thing again no matter who be blinging
He do it for the smelly hubbies
Seeds know what time it is like it's time for Teletubbies
Few can do it even fewer can sell it
Take it from the dude who wear mask like a tarded helmet

He plots shows like robberies
In and out, one, two, three, no bodies please
Run the cash and you won't get a wet sweatshirt
The mic is the shottie, nobody move, nobody get hurt
Bring heat, like ya boy done gone to war
He came in the door, and everybody on the floor
A whole string of jobs, like we on tour
Every night on the score, coming to your corner store

There, it is done
Now that the representative from South Africa has been mind programmed, all of the world's leaders on earth are under my control
And when they meet tomorrow in special session, I, DOOM, shall be voted master of the world
My plan is foolproof but just in case

And what about snow?

And you keep your eyes open
When I tell ya, start snapping
(Oh yeah, sure)

Uh, ladies and gentlemen
I am risking my life to tell you with great concern that I must warn you
I, I, you must listen
Many among you, have, have, have their minds taken over
(What a story, start snappin')

DOOM, gosh, I wish I'd brought my autograph book
(Your attempts at humor bore me)
Right lead head

You're weird

Why is everyone staring at us?
(Aw, I should have realized we must look like freaks to them)

Relax masseur, just do your thing
(Get a good grip on my)
What? Why I'll bend your read out meter for ya, you little
(Knock it off, Ben)
What's the matter?
(Oh, Ben)
You're nothing but a chicken head
(You overgrown granite head)
(Hold it)