Sincerely, Drunk Me

(álbum: The But I'm Not Always Sad Either - 2021)

If your stupid ex sends you a text
I won't judge you if you answer it
One more drunk hookup, ha, ain't gonna hurt ya
I don't think so, at least
So you peed in inappropriate places (whoops)
And you eat burgers when you been wasted
I won't tell the police you're a vegetarian (unless they ask, I can't lie)

But now you're here in this bathroom
Crying and judging yourself, stop that
Here's some standup advice
From a girl who can't stand up herself

If you think that you're shitty, you're probably not
Love that outfit, where'd you get that top?
Yeah, nobody hates ya, especially me
Hakuna ma-vodka, no worries, baby
Don't think for a second you're not, like, totally worth it
Your mascara isn't running, your makeup's not ruined
This message was brought to you by the messing-up queen
Sincerely, drunk me

Well, I think we should talk about me
I've done some stupid shit you wouldn't believe (get ready)
I broke into a house one night to charge my phone, hmm (is that even legal?)
And then I drunk dialed my ex sixty times
Yeah, honey, in one night (hello? are you there?)
It's called making mistakes, and baby, that's how you grow (hello?)
(If this is your voicemail, can you call me back?)

Yeah, sober me has learned to look the other way
She knows all the best stories, yeah, they come from me

If you think that you're shitty, you're probably not
Love that outfit, where'd you get that top?
Yeah, nobody hates ya, especially me
Hakuna ma-vodka, no worries, baby
Don't think for a second you're not, like, totally worth it
Your mascara isn't running, your makeup's not ruined
This message was brought to you by the messing-up queen
Sincerely, drunk me

Sincerely, drunk me
Okay, okay, okay

Yeah, I don't know who out there needs to hear this
Excuse me, hello, are you even listening?

If you think that you're shitty, you're probably not
Love that outfit, where'd you get that top?
Yeah, nobody hates ya, especially me
Okay, whoa, I'm gonna get super deep
Don't think for a second you're not, like, totally worth it
Your mascara isn't running, your makeup's not ruined
This message was brought to you by the drunk, crying
Messing-up, probably-should-work-on-herself queen
You know what, I'm trying my best but I'm just
I'm, I'm just not there yet
Sincerely, drunk me

Ha, nailed it
More like seriously drunk me
Who gives me wine when I'm singing?
This is a mistake
Fuck it
Rhinoceroses