Always Late

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I was actually five hours late though

I missed my friend's engagement
'Cause I'm always late
Missed my girlfriend's ultrasound
'Cause I'm always late
Had a job interview but I woke up in a state
But ask me if I'd do it again and I would say, 'okay,'

I'm always late [x6]
I don't even own a watch but man, wouldn't that be great?
Ask me if I'd do it again and I would say, 'okay,'
I'm always late

Yo, it's the number one faffer
Number one bag-packing slacker
Number one traffic jammer
Yeah I got the radio on but even Lionel Richie can't stop this anger
I'm looking at my cabbie like 'boss
Have you ever seen Men In Black?
Yes in fact, remember that bit when they push a red button and go super-fast
Can we do that yeah?'
Nah, apparently not
So now I gotta ring my friend and think on the spot, I'm like
'Yeah, I'm gonna be another forty minutes
Because I just saved an orphan,' wicked

Yeah I'm forever late
And when I die I'll get turned away from heaven's gate
And there'll be hell to pay
They're like, 'Yo, you were supposed to be here yesterday'
And I'm like, 'Sorry I didn't fucking die sooner,'

I missed my best friend's wedding
'Cause I'm always late
Missed my first kid being born
'Cause I'm always late
Missed my own birthday, 'cause I woke up the next day
But ask me if I'd do it again and I would say, 'okay,'

I'm always late [x6]
I don't even own a watch but man, wouldn't that be great?
Ask me if I'd do it again and I would say, 'okay,'
I'm always late

Yo, blame it on the alcohol or on a reefer
Blame it on a two-week stint in Ibiza
Blame it on the Sun, or on Fifa
Blame it on the last episode of Game of Thrones, bruv
Yeah, I got girlfriends acting Khaleesi
Time drags on and I'm late when they see me
It's Luigi trying to get a star
Going double-fast just to keep my princess peachy

Real talk though, time's a language
And you can eat my lack-of-punctuality sandwich
It's not all London and Manhattan
There are places on Earth than enjoy relaxing
Until then I'll get a flat white with added lack of nap-time
And whatever will help me fucking not miss my commitments
I fall victim to thinking everything will just go smoothly

And now my best friend hates me
'Cause I'm always late
And my family's moved away
'Cause I'm always late
It ain't even Christmas, but it feels like holiday
'Cause now I ain't got shit to do so I can sleep all day

I'm always late [x6]
I don't even own a watch but man, wouldn't that be great?
Ask me if I'd do it again and I would say, 'okay,'
I'm always late

Ah, yeah, yeah
Sorry, I just
You haven't got teleportation
Would be great
Yeah see, I didn't even finish that on time