Falling

(álbum: When Stars Align - 2019)

Yeah, lately I'm hurting the people who love me the most
Damn, my emotions take over, it's something I can't control
I look in the mirror like where's the me I used to know?
Because right know, I can use him the most
Yeah, I can use him the most
Damn, when did my heart become so bitter and cold? (cold)
When did I start walking down this lonely road? (road)
There's parts of my life that I'm too afraid to show
There's parts about me I'm embarrassed to know
When they stop caring, I started carrying this load

No one understands what my life is like
I'm still looking out for the brightest night
I been fighting so much that when I try to write
I'm paralyzed, and I feel stuck inside my mind
You fear that I'm going crazy, I think I just might
You should probably stay away and take my advice
I been through dark days, I can't find a light
If you look at me you wouldn't see a sign of life
I don't know how I got this way, I just am this way
Judge all you want, you don't know my pain
Depression got me feeling like I can't be saved
No, I can't be saved
So what if I said, "fuck it" and picked up a gauge, and pressed the trigger to my head and blast my brains
Acting like you were there for me
Not care for me
When I'm gone and I'm in my grave
(Fuck)

Lately I just wonder if I'll come around
Cause I don't wanna lose me
I'm sorry that I'm falling and I've let you down
But I don't wanna lose me
I'm falling
I'm falling
I fell again
(I fell)
(I fell)
(I fell)
I fell
I fell
I'm falling again

I need therapy to figure out what my problem is
I'm done going online, it's eating away at my confidence
It's like I search for the hate, and ignore all the compliments
I'm done reading the comments 'cause I'm getting tired of it
Yeah, man, I'm getting tired of it
Damn, when I'm being me I feel like I'm being somebody else
(Else)
I'm surrounded by people, but feel like there's nobody else
(Else)
Nobody comes to rescue me when I'm calling for help
I swear my mind is a tormented place, I sit and I dwell, hammering the nail
How the fuck did I garner millions of comments of people telling me I'm great?
But I don't believe it, but I believe in the ones giving me hate
It's like I look for validation for an idea in my mind that I already made
When did I tell myself I wasn't worthy, I'm undeserving
The critics hurt me, I feel like I'm fake
I swear my mind is a trap and my heart is the prey
Someone take my social media away
I'm on it for days
I read and I raise
There's nothing to say
I'm losing my way
I'm losing my strength
I'm losing my faith
My insecurities that keep me awake
I'm stuck in a paradigm that I know that I've been dying to escape
Damn

Lately I just wonder if I'll come around
Cause I don't wanna lose me
I'm sorry that I'm falling and I've let you down
But I don't wanna lose me
I'm falling
I'm falling
I fell again
(I fell)
(I fell)
(I fell)
I fell
I fell
I'm falling again

Yeah, I'm at war with myself, I'm battling me everyday
And, I never win, this is a battle of strength
I overthink till I'm numb, I think I need a break
Because right know, I'm losing my way
Yeah, I'm losing my way
Yeah, I'm causing my misery, maybe I'm the one to blame (Blame)
If I feel sorry, that means I don't gotta change (Change)
I'm dealing with demons, that I wasn't willing to face
I was looking for fame to try to cover the fact, that I'm an act
I can't run from my mistakes
I'm running from myself, but obviously running away from me is so worthless
I had to rip open my soul, and I had to look way deeper under the surface
I should've been me, but instead of being me I was too busy trying to be perfect
Now they want me to be perfect
Fake and it's become a burden
I'm losing my patience, going through phases
I fucking hate myself
Why I am chasing, using my fame when, I can't escape myself
I'm feeling anxious, who do I blame when, I can't blame myself
Fans said I saved them, how can I save them?
I can't save myself, fuck

Lately I just wonder if I'll come around
Cause I don't wanna lose me
I'm sorry that I'm falling and I've let you down
But I don't wanna lose me
I'm falling
I'm falling
I fell again
(I fell)
(I fell)
(I fell)
I fell
I fell
I'm falling again