Jilted John

I've been going out with a girl
Her name is Julie
But last night she said to me
When we were watching telly

(This is what she said)

She said listen John, I love you
But there's this bloke, I fancy
I don't want to two time you
So it's the end for you and me

Who's this bloke I asked her
Gordon, she replied
Not that puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he's no puff she cried

(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)

Here we go, two three four

I was so upset that I cried
All the way to the chip shop
When I came out there was Gordon
Standing at the bus stop

(And guess who was with him?
Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)

Oh, she is cruel and heartless
To pack me for Gordon
Just cos he's better looking than me
Just cos he's cool and trendy

But I know he's a moron
Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron

Here we go, two three four

He is a creep, she is a tart
He's very cheap, she is a slut
He thinks he's tough, she is a bitch
He is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair

(I ought to smash his face in.)
(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)
(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)
(Oh but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)
(I don't care)

I don't care, I don't care
Yeah yeah
Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
She is a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah