only thing promised is death

It's useless
I tried noo

I got blood on my hands
You're my only love my only [?]
Hard to pretend
That I'm full of all this happiness
Fuck what they said
I been like this since I was a kid
I know when you say you care about me but you're full of shit
Do I wanna die do I wanna live
I'm in so much pain I can't wanna deal with this
But that very thing gave me so much bliss
Wish you'd understand
But you never did

It's useless
I tried noo

I got blood on my hands
You're my only love my only [?]
Hard to pretend
That I'm full of all this happiness
Fuck what they said
I been like this since I was a kid
I know when you say you care about me but you're full of shit
Do I wanna die do I wanna live
I'm in so much pain I can't wanna deal with this
But that very thing gave me so much bliss
Wish you'd understand
But you never did

It's useless
I tried noooooo
Fuck thisss