Daddy, Where Did I Come From?

(album: Ars Longa Vita Brevis - 1968)

So I wonder why when the pie in the sky
Gets green at the edge, jumps a senile hedge
And asks questions

So I asked my ma and she said "Ask your pa"
And he said "Ask your ma" and wonders why his kids ask questions
So you fill me up with the gooseberry bush and tales of the stork
And you tell me to hush when I ask questions

Daddy, where did I come from?

[Father:]
"Well son, you've rather caught your old dad on the hop
I suppose the birds and the bees they won't do. No, no they won't do
Think of flowers, a flower carrying the seed, yeah that's mommy, mommy the flower
And your daddy sort of fornicates the flower. No, uh, pollinates, fornicates, pollinates
No son, you didn't just grow in the garden
No, daddy didn't pick you. No, you stayed with the flower
And you sort of grew and grew and grew, and suddenly you're you
That won't do son? No? Uh, well, it's the best I can do"

[Son:]
"No daddy, the fertilization occurs when the male seeds reach the female egg"

You're drunk, you're drunk

With your back teeth floating in a gallon of booze
You can't even work out how to fasten your shoes
You get yourself into such a state
You're found drunk in charge of a roller skate
It's no small wonder that you can't even answer questions