There's No 'Too Soon' If Time Is Relative

I don't feel like moving
Don't feel like talking
I'm feeling a little Stephen Hawking
Today

I barely feel like rolling
There's no way I'm rocking
I'm feeling a little Stephen Hawking
Hey, hey, hey

When I saw him on TV
I thought he looked crazy
Then my friend told me that he's just really lazy
So lazy he could only write A Brief History of Time
He maybe smart but to me he's just a creepy narcoleptic mime

I wanna be like Stephen
So I'm gonna walk uneven
And having trouble breathing
Hey, hey, hey

I'm gonna live by gravitational law
I'm gonna try to drink a cheeseburger through a straw
And make my hand look more like a lobster claw
Hey, hey, hey

But being Stephen must be kind of a drag
It looks like even his teeth are starting to sag
I thought he had a tail and he was trying to wag
But then I learned the tail was a tube
'Cause he's so lazy that he poops in a colostomy bag

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
You give me something to believe in
Don't wanna hear him, don't wanna see him
I think he might have melted in a wax museum

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
Are you robot posing as a human bein'?
Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
You give us all a super creepy feelin'