Davey's Song

(album: Eight Crazy Nights - 2002)

[Crazy Chinese Resturant Guy:]
He dine and dash me! He chew and screw me! He sip and skip me!

[Police:]
What?

[Crazy Chinese Resturant Guy:]
He no pay for his four Scorpion Bowl

[Davey:]
Oh, boy

I'm the kinda guy that can't stand the holiday
So I drink them all away
That's me

I don't decorate no trees
And I won't eat no potato lakees
But I'll give this old ladies melons a squeeze
That's just who I am

Well, I'll never spin a dreidel
But I'll always throw an egg
And I'll charliehorse your leg for laughs
While you're singing your holiday tune
I'm acting like the town Bafoon
Whipping out my big white scary moon
And blowing a beef your way

I hate folks who think reindeer are cute
To me they're just something to shoot
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me

Well, I'm a snowmobile stealing
No 'tis the season' feeling
Kind of guy (kind of guy)

This time of year sucks
So I take my numchucks
And make sure every snowman dies

Believeing in Santa's all wrong
And Chaunaka's eight days too long
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me