At the Mall

(album: Eight Crazy Nights - 2002)

Oh the day can't begin, 'til the guard lets me in
Then I walk for some exercise
In less than a snap, I complete my daily lap
Then it's time to socialize
I visit Grady and Ruth at the information booth
And bring the earring lady a Ben And Jerry's shake
Then I go to Petland where the manager Stan
Pass me a buff to feed a dangerous snake

Then I pass the Tie Rack on my way to RadioShack
Where I pretend to be a Hollywood star
I try to walk like John Wayne and do Singing In The Rain
While the janitor laughs from afar
A little bit later on the glass elevator
We're so high I have to close my eyes
He takes his 11:30 crap
Then go over to the Gap
Try on clothes for moms with things my size

Zoom off to Panda Express
Their pepper chicken is the best
I hit Sbarro's for a medium drink
'Cause the staff is really nice and they only use cubed ice
Which is better than crushed I think
Bag a left and I'm at Sears
Look for Chuck with the Hairy ears
'Cause he lets me catch a quick cat nap
But then Mrs. Vischmijn's daughter
Puts my hand in warm water
And I wake up with a wet yellow lap
Footlocker's my last stop
Where I have to go and shop
For some fresh pants and a couple of fresh shirts

'Cause when I leave the mall
I ref Youth League Basketball
And to look your best never hurts
But the greatest thing of all if the truth be told
Here at the mall it's never too hot or cold
'Cause they were smart enough to make it temperature controlled

At the mall, at the mall, at the mall
Tra-la-la!