The Chanukah Song, Part 3

(album: Eight Crazy Nights - 2002)

Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
Once again it's on-aka
The miracle of Chanukah

Give it up for the Drei-Dels everybody!

Chanukah is the Festival of Lights
One day of presents? Hell, no, we get Eight Crazy Nights
But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes number three

Ross and Pheobe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will and Grace's Debra Messing
Melissa Gilbert and Michael London never mix meat with dairy
Maybe they shoulda called that show Little Kosher House on the Prairie
We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism but you guys can have him back
(Just kidding Tommy!)

We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe
But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigelow
I'm Jewish
Oh my gosh, we got Schneider in here!

Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah

The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica
Celebrates Chanukah
Oh, good job Schneider! Alright now

Osama Bin Laden, not a big fan of the Jews
Well maybe that 's because he lost a figure-skating match
To gold medalist Sarah Hughes—her mama's Jewish
Houdini and David Blaine escape straitjackets with such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of— their painful circumcision
As for great actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one
And Marlon Brando, not a Jew at all! But looks to me like he ate one. Yeah!

There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell, Beck and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music but first came Hebrew school

Hey, Natalie Portman-ukah
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get an abtronika
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah
So get a high colonika
And soil your long John-ukahs
If you really, really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...
Happy Chanukah!