C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S

(album: Dear Santa, I Can Explain - 2021)

C is for the chimney that Santa squeezes through at night
H is for the Ho Ho Homemade gifts so wrong they're right
R is for Her Royal Highness delivering her speech
As we work our way through a box of Quality Street

I is for the icicles and the white snow-covered ground
S is for the slippers and Christmas jumpers all around
T is for the twinkling tinsel we wrap around the tree
As we sit through a thousand reruns of Love, Actually

C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S., it's Christmas
Put on your silly paper hats and sing
C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. we're together again
As the church bells are ringing a'ding dong ding dong ding

C is for the Carol singers a'Caroling down the lane
H is for the hyped up children demanding more candy canes
R is for the reindeer who pull the sleigh on Xmas Eve
There's Vixen, Blitzen Dasher and Dancer and... Steve

I is for Irish Cream, and S for Sherry let's have one more
T is for the turkey trimmings, and M for Mistletoe

A is for an After Eight and then a long food coma nap
As your cat gets S for snuggling on your lap

C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S., it's Christmas
Put on your silly paper crown and sing
C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. we're together again
As the church bells are ringing a'ding dong ding dong ding

C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S., it's Christmas
Put on your silly paper crown and sing
C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. we're together again
And you'll still be hoovering pine needles in the spring