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Quadeca

Ego Death

 

Ego Death

(album: Voice Memos - 2019)


I know I got an ego
Must be something in my brain
If I didn't, I'd probably go insane
I'm sorry I'm an asshole
That's just how the raps go
Sorry that I do this shit everyday... Day... day-da-day-ddddd

Yeah, I'm on my ego death
I had to reassess
I had to resurrect yeah uh
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I'm feeling less?

My songs are bipolar like Ye
They think they controlling my fate
Cut all the chatter, no, yall are not rappers
You just some ad-libbers like Ay huh
I just pulled up, back in black
Drop a hit, they react to that
Now they see this and they acting mad
Like I'm Kanye in a MAGA hat

I'm so alone, see
I've always been one and only
Even back when this gold chain was made out of macaroni
Now they always asking me, what happened to the old me?
I wish I could've told him goodbye, wish he could know me

Wish that I could tell you bout how everyone would know you
And tell you it's worth it, despite everything they told you
Crying silent in your pillow saying "I wish I was homeschooled"
Too afraid to sing your songs because you thought that they would roast you

I was nine
Friends told me I would go lose
Now it's time
I think I gotta show you
That's my mind
Say I don't care but I so do
Having trouble walking up a mile in my own shoes
Never used to bet on me and now they like "I owe you,"
Looking back at them like "dafuq? I do not know you"
When I make a milly mufucker I'ma show you
For what I had to go through
It feel like I'm supposed to

Ego
I don't
Need no
Other people
In my trio
Myself
I and
Me tho
We know
We don't
Need no
Kilos
My watch
Frio

I'm on my ego death
But I let it breathe again
Yeah I let it resurrect
Yeah uh
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I'm feeling less? yeah

On the way
All okay
Only a
Call away
Feeling like a God on my Charlemagne
I really think they want my presence like a holiday
But I think I need to learn when to walk away
Man I got so many problems but I wanna stay
Without acknowledging how often I have gone astray
First step is denial but I'm over that
And I've accepted it already but it holds me back yeah

Back yeah
Slurring my words I been moving too fast yeah
Fast yeah
Maybe I don't wanna share it like that yeah
That's facts yeah
I need to stop checking all of the stats, like that, like that yeah ay

I'm on my ego death
I had to reassess
I had to resurrect yeah uh
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I'm feeling less?

I got 40,000 comments this week
At least 5,000 said that I should kill myself, I'm a freak, I'm too weak, I'm a leech
And all my music fucking sucks, I'm a geek
I'm everything they want me to be and that's the problem with me
So when they say you got a ego, tell em thank the fucking lord
Cause if you didn't you'd be suffering
You'd be stuck there on the floor with nothing more
At least I'm out here smiling in the quicksand
Take your head out of that pillow, one day you gone be the big man

In the dark
I stare into mirrors for hours
Until I can't recognize myself
A dissonant reflection
Both a sober and a sobering hallucination

fait

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