Goose On Holiday

(album: Random Encounters: Season 10 - 2020)

Is this somebody's stool?
Cause I need it!
What a fine looking fruit
Guess I'll eat it!
Were you using this pipe?
Well, it's mine now!
Will it bug you if I
Take your sign down?

I think I'll take
This rusty rake
And once I break your old broom
They'll both go into the lake!

It'd be a shame
If someone came
Along and threw off your aim
Hey, mate, it's only a game!

Look, here's the gist:
My evil list
Consists of ways to cause mayhem
And put pants in a twist!

The folks I've goosed
Have now deduced
That since they locked me away
The geese have come home to roost!

You'd better lock your gates and hide your lingerie
From your friendly bird of prey
Because the goose is loose and here for fowl play
I'm a goose on holiday!

Hey, that radio's nice
And I want it!
Lovely ribbon you've got
I'ma flaunt it!
This harmonica needs
Me to tune it!
That's a beautiful rose
Time to prune it!

Hear that crash?
It's your trash
Oh, I'll be back in a flash
To make you waste all your cash!

I'm in your hedge!
Got any veg?
You seem a little on edge
Don't hit your hand with your sledge!

Hey, here's a tip:
Try not to trip
Your shoes can go for a dip
All while I give you the slip!

I'm here to seize
Your ham and cheese
I may just get you all wet
And then escape with your keys!

I hope you come enjoy my manic matinee!
Starring me, your Bird of Prey!
That's right, the goose is loose and causing quite the fray
While I'm here on holiday!

Went to pour me a pint
But you stole it!
And my football's been knicked!
Where'd you roll it?
Half my garden is gone
Cause you plucked it!
And hit me straight on the head
With this bucket!

You can run!
You can hide!
But we'll be right on your tail
And we're all fit to be tied!

Yeah, you can honk!
And you can flap!
Well, I can eat you for lunch
For making off with me cap!

You broke my fence!
Ransacked the pub!
You trashed the TV boutique!
And left a hole in my shrub!

You smashed my vase!
Untied my shoes!
We've come to take back our stuff
And then get rid of this goose!

That's nice, but (So stay away!)
I'm not sure I (Go on! Be off with you, okay?)
Properly conveyed (We're very done with you today!)
I'm a bird, a (You've caused us all so much dismay!)
Bird of prey!

Too late (No poppycock! Back to your bay!)
The goose is loose (Do you hear anything we say?)
And likely here to stay (Enough of this absurd display!)
On extended (It's time to make the poultry pay!)
Holiday!