Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 31)

(album: Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 23–33 - 2012)

[Doorbell rings]

[Randolph:]
Would you shut up? So I can hear? I can't hear now. Help her, Lord

[Rosie:]
Aw, you shut up, and get the door! Always telling somebody to shut up, what's wrong with you? This my house

[Randolph:]
Rosie!

[Rosie:]
Get the door!

[Pimp Lucius:]
Hey, pappy...

[Randolph:]
Don't "Hey, pappy" me. Hmph. You just get your ass on back in them streets

[Rosie:]
Let him in, Randolph!

[Randolph:]
Shut your ass up, Rosie! Hmph. Now just get your ass on back to bed. You so goddamn nosy

[Rosie:]
Well, it's my son, too!

[Randolph:]
Yeah? Well, this ain't got nothing to do with you

[Rosie:]
And just how the hell you figure that?

[Pimp Lucius:]
N-n-now, I don't wanna start nothing between you two

[Randolph:]
Now you just stay the hell outta this!

[Rosie:]
Don't talk to him like that!

[Randolph:]
I can talk to him how the hell I wanna!

[Rosie:]
Yeah?

[Randolph:]
Don't mock me, Rosie!

[Pimp Lucius:]
Mama

[Randolph:]
Now you just take your green ass on back out on them corners

[Pimp Lucius, as the door shuts:]
W-w-w...

[Rosie:]
Open the door!

[Randolph:]
Nope!

[Rosie:]
Open the door!

[Randolph:]
Nope

[Rosie:]
Randolph, open that goddamn...

[Narrator:]
Randolph thinks about it, and then he says "Shit", and then he opens the door

[Rosie:]
Come on in, Lucius

[Pimp Lucius:]
Mama, that's Pimp...

[Randolph:]
Mm-hmm...

[Pimp Lucius:]
Nothing...

[Randolph:]
Now what you come 'round here for?

[Pimp Lucius:]
I-I need a favor

[Randolph:]
We ain't got no money

[Rosie:]
Now, Randolph...

[Randolph:]
Yeah?

[Rosie:]
Now just quit acting funny

[Randolph:]
Being broke ain't funny

[Rosie:]
Now what's going on, honey?

[Pimp Lucius:]
Well, I need to borrow a few racks, and a place to lay my head

[Rosie:]
Honey, what's racks?

[Randolph:]
You ain't laying that head in none of these beds

[Rosie:]
Douglas!

[Randolph:]
Dammit, don't call me by my nickname!

[Rosie:]
It ain't your nickname...

[Randolph:]
Hmm?

[Rosie:]
It's your middle name

[Randolph gasps]

[Rosie:]
Now, go on, Lucius

[Pimp Lucius:]
I-I-I-I-I-I...

[Rosie:]
Hey, now just calm down, and take your time, baby

[Narrator:]
Lucius starts to explain to his mother how he's been getting the strangest phone calls, and then the doorbell starts to ring again, Randolph's like, "What the hell is going on?!" And Pimp Lucius says, "Mama, I'll pay you back the first if you do this"

[Rosie:]
Baby, what's the first?

[Pimp Lucius:]
The first chance I get

[Randolph:]
Don't tell me you about to go for this shit, Rosie!

[Rosie:]
Randolph!

[Randolph:]
Rosie!

[Pimp Lucius:]
Mama!

[Rosie:]
Lucius!

[Pimp Lucius:]
That's Pimp... Lucius!

[Narrator:]
Now everybody's screaming, going insane while the doorbell's ringing off the chain

[Randolph:]
Yeah? If he's gon' stay, dammit, I'm gon' go!

[Rosie:]
Aw, shut up, Randolph, and get the goddamn door!

[Randolph:]
Aw hell... Hmm?

Well, kiss me, Jesus

[Rosie:]
Well, who is it?

[Randolph:]
It's En Vogue... with a new lead singer