what's left unsaid says it all

(album: forever yours - 2021)

Look
I don't need to sleep anymore, I feel empty
Lie awake and I wonder, do you still miss me?
Rain fall in, my conscious clouding my memories
I haven't eaten in days, shit is depressing
I know we talked about moving on and forgetting
My home screen is still you, something won't let me
Sometimes I have good days then it hits me
The best part about me is better not with me

I've been thinking 'bout these feelings
Like when you say you love me, did you even mean it?
I know that you don't need me, wish you see it
The only time I see you now is when I'm dreaming
And you still my forever, but I know I'll never be enough
Gave me all these chances, but I always seem to fuck it up
I just wanna hear everything about your day
I just wanna pretend just for a second you feel the same
I just wanna wake up to 4 a.m. texts from you like
"Hey, I just wanna let you know that I love you so much and I got home safe"
Now it all feels fake
Every time that you would lie to me and you would cry to me
And I would tell you that no matter what it's all okay
I guess love brings hate
I guess people do change
I guess feelings must fade
I guess I got, fuck
I guess I gotta be mindful that I'll see most with my eyes closed
And I'll sit with the words I wish I could unsay, yeah

Yeah, you tell me that you love me but your heart is rather cold
Catching sparks from all the fireworks, I'll melt to fit your mold
But you're freezing in the summer, we ain't close to either pole
But the distance feels immense between the fibers in my soul

So I'll travel down the coast in search of love or something close
Gotta make you slip discreetly in the pocket of my coat
What a travesty of character like kerosene to stone
Guess that heat left me perspiring designed to be alone
I'll be questioning your motives when you reach me on the phone
Like are you there with anybody else or are you on your own?
Playing cautious with the chords in case they're up around my throat
Try regurgitating all this shit I wish I never wrote
But separate motives that you hated, now you know
If a boat's over capacity then does it sink or float?
I've been treading through the water thinking 'bout the times you spoke
My alarm went off this morning but alas, I never woke