First Breath, Last Breath

(album: If There Is Light, It Will Find You - 2018)

I watched you bleed out, I watched your lungs cave
I saw the worst thing that I've ever seen as I watched you slip away from me
And our daughter's first breath is
The last one you will ever take and I don't think I can make it on my own

"Remember they said you'd have to sacrifice" I know
But I was not prepared to watch the life drain from your soul
I have never felt so crushed, the sadness buried in my bones
How the hell am I supposed to raise a daughter on my own?

I turned to stone when I look in your eyes
I lost the only reason that I'm alive
I don't know if any words will do
All that I know is I'm so in love with you

There was nothing that they could do
After three days of labor it's a miracle that anyone survived
I'm alive
But I'm dead inside and I'm supposed to raise a child with a smile now?

I used to wonder why people put bullets in their brains
Now it seems like the only way to stop this pain
How the fuck am I supposed to wake up every day
And pretend that I love her as much as I miss your face?

I turned to stone when I look in your eyes
I lost the only reason that I'm alive
I don't know if any words will do
All that I know is I'm so in love with you

I watched you bleed out, I watched your lungs cave
I watched you slip away from me and I don't think that I'll ever be okay